Deus Ex: Human Revolution (PS3, Xbox 360, Wii U, PC/OSX)

I am in love with that coat.

TL;DR: Deus Ex Human Revolution is worth buying if you like Action RPG’s and is pretty cheap.

Some of the greatest RPG's of all time came out of Square during its early days such as Chrono Trigger, Super Mario RPG, and Final Fantasy 6. Then the dark days came. Square experienced a drought in creativity after the release of the wildly popular FFVII which started the now overused trope of the mopey emo-hero. Some Square games gave good reason for why the hero should be Mopey (Lost Odyssey) but most just used the angsty hero as a way to create character depth in a shallow character. However just as Square fans started to wonder if the company was even remotely capable of putting out any sort of good AAA game Deus Ex: Human Revolution hit shelves.

I’m not subtle enough about my loathing of FFVII.

Lets be honest with ourselves, its unlikely that you've heard of the Deus Ex series before and that's totally okay. The Deus Ex series up until Human Revolution was only ever released on the Computer, a platform that never had much in the way of advertising in the pre-internet age. Human Revolution is a prequel to the entire Deus Ex series taking place before advanced prosthetics (called Augmentations in the game), were wildly common place. Ethical and Moral questions are posed over the course of the game about what it means to be human in an age where anyone can easily trade in their old fleshy bits for steam-punk robo ones. This is a naturally dividing issue within the game as two major opposing factions surround the issue one which believes the advancement of prosthetics can only help while others believe its unnatural and only seeks to destroy what it means to be human... naturally this wouldn't be complete without worldwide conspiracies involving mega-corporations and misinformation spread throughout the media.

And this mostly happens in Detroit…

Human Revolution plays like every other over the shoulder action game released in the past decade. Standardization plays heavily in its favor as it minimizes how much time players need to spend on tutorials, a victory for everyone. The controls are literally perfect, when I was playing the first thing I noticed was how every button served a purpose and spent at least half of my game time cycling through the hold-out button and the holster button just because I liked the sound the tazer makes when whipping it out.

 

Okay so the controls are great but who cares about that if the actual content of the game doesn't utilize those great controls? Well let me tell you what good sir... ma'am... sa'am? Deus Ex Human Revolution combines the stealth aspects of the Metal Gear Solid games, the Espionage Aspects of Hitman, and the hacking aspects of the later Fallout games. AND IT WORKS! The thing that consistently amazes me to this very moment was how well all these features seamlessly were combined in this game. So Adam Jenson, the main character, he's got stats that you can toss points into that allow him to do some things better then others and allow you to customize him to suit your play style. Say you have to break into a secret government facility, well you can choose to sneak in innocuously by Solid Snaking your way past the guards, or using you 733t hax0r skillz to turn all the automated forces to your side and casually walk in while the guards are busy or distracted, the final method is for your inner sociopath where you can build Jenson up to be a murder machine that can shoot bombs out of his arms and eat bullets as if they were a typical breakfast. Oh did I forget to mention that you can go through the entire game without killing anyone? Yeah, thats an option. You can defeat all enemies (sans boss characters) with non-lethal takedowns or non-lethal weapons, which is perfect for stealth runs. Basically:

• Sneaking is pretty typical, you avoid cones of sight ala MGS and try not to make noise. You can also take alternate hidden routes to objectives like sewers or air ducts. If you encounter enemies you can use non-lethal take downs or non-lethal weapons to knock out enemies.

• Hacking is very strategy and luck based where you try to capture nodes without being detected by the computers system. The hacking system is leveled and gets harder as the game progresses so if you plan on playing this way you'll want to pool a good number of points in it.

• Murder-Time Fun-Time, you like murder? Well you can do that, a lot, with guns, or a sword arm thing.

Like I mentioned you play as Adam Jenson, the head of security guard for Sarif Industries, who wind up having to be heavily augmented after most of his body is destroyed during a terrorist attack. The game is semi-open world where you are introduced to large sprawling hub worlds which have side-quests and many opportunists to obtain background information that explains the mysteries surrounding the attack and Adam himself. A good example is Detroit, the starting hub, once you are dropped off in it you can quickly run around and start working on a sting for a prostitute cop, get a guy to lose his job, or just destroy entire gangs for the hell of it. Besides just doing side quests you are presented with many choices throughout the game which shape Jenson's character and his reactions for later quests which is pretty cool and generally makes your experience somewhat unique as one player may make Jenson a sociopath, or a literal Saint who selflessly gives and gives with no expectation of return. You get to visit quite a few hub worlds multiple times but each time you leave one you lose access to those side quests permanently which sucks mightily as I didn't realize this on my first play-through and missed a bunch of them. If there is anything I particularly hated about the whole “hub world” thing was the fact that you don't get the option to revisit them when you want, which stands as a reminder that the game is very linear at its core even though it presents you with other avenues of enjoyment outside the main quest. No matter how far out you travel you inevitably come to a wall that forces you to return to the main quest.

I can gush about Deus Ex Human Revolution for hours, it has great story, great gameplay, and really well made environments with high levels of detail which resonated very well with my inner child. I highly recommend Deus Ex for anyone who likes Action RPG's with optional Stealth Elements. Its story will very easily keep you on the edge of your seat with its many twists and turns and with how much your own choices and actions affect the world and Jenson himself. There are many versions of the game available, but the definitive version is the Directors Cut which includes “The Missing Link” DLC which explains the events of a time skip that occurs during the main story, and is pretty fun as stand alone story. By the way, you can shoot hoops, nuff’ said.

NINJATENDO Pt 1: How the Ninja Craze Hit the NES Era in a Big Bad Way

Television, Film, Video Games, and Music. The foundations of our media-oriented society and the building blocks of a mutual relationship that society has with its entertainment. Many can argue that trends in entertainment have a profound impact on societal trends, and others could argue the opposite. It can lead to a "chicken versus the egg" conundrum of what came first; the popularity of cheesy polyester leisure suits or the popularity of Miami Vice. All I know is that I worship at the altar of Don Johnson and don't trust anyone who doesn't.

So here I present a "chicken and the egg" question: how, why, when, where did America pick up its fascination with ninjas? Somewhere in the 1980's, films and video games were overrun with "Ninja" this or "Ninja" that. My best guess is that the success of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles played a key role in everything in the late 80's to early 90's being Ninja-centric, at least over here in America. You had films like Revenge of the Ninja, Ninja Vengeance, 3 Ninjas, Surf Ninjas, American Ninja, Zombie Vs Ninja, and more. Everything was ninja, ninja, ninja.

Circa 1992, every 5th movie I watched on Showtime was like this...

So naturally, much like every cold-war era Atari or Intellivision game being named "Space" something or "Star" something, you had no less than at least 10 Nintendo games that are directly related to the dark, mysterious art of Ninjutsu. Some of the games were groundbreaking and hugely influential (the Ninja Gaiden series) and others are confoundingly confusing (The Last Ninja.) Let's dig in!

Truth in advertising! You jump through trees and everyone wants you dead!

Legend of Kage: In 1985, Taito released an arcade game that, while kind of primitive now; is a strangely addictive action platformer. You play as the ninja Kage trying to save your princess from her evil captors by running through the forest, jumping through trees with amazing, Crouching Tiger Flying Daggers-style wire-fu leaps that no mere mortal could possibly make normally without a Game Genie. You have to slash your way through a sea of faceless nemeses that all want to kill you. Occasionally they drop power ups which will help you upgrade your outfit to a different color allowing you more hit points. It's a generally common and inexpensive game so I definitely think it's necessary for your collection.

Grandma, this is sooooo NOT Ninja Gaiden!

Wrath of the Black Manta: Taito did a damn good job with striking gold on Legend of Kage. It's not in the top 10 games for the NES, but it's one of the better common titles from the 8 bit era. So you would think that in 1989 when they released Wrath of the Black Manta, that the game would rock the world. Sadly, that's not the case. Wrath of the Black Manta is a bland, by-the-books action scroller/platformer where you control a rather slow, clunky ninja through hordes of faceless enemies. It's nowhere near as lifeless as say; the Schwarzenegger games, Lethal Weapon and the like; but it's still nothing to write home about. That being said, it's a common and affordable title so one couldn't really complain about the reasonable price-point.

Do all ninjas have random thugs walking around in their dojos?

The Last Ninja: This 1990 port of the sequel to 1987's The Last Ninja for the Commodore 64 is a strange game. The game definitely shows its Commodore 64 roots in the graphics and gameplay department. It is absolutely fair to call this game "unique" because it is unlike any other NES game I have ever played. The player controls a ninja in an isometric 3d environment trying to dispatch with bad guys and solve basic puzzles to unlock doors and advance further in the game. There is a relatively open world to explore here for a Nintendo game and there is danger around every corner. The closest comparison I can make to a popular game would be the early Alone in the Dark titles. As with those games, there are problems arising from hit-detection errors and overall clunky controls. I can only imagine this game would play much smoother with a joystick (haven't tried it with the NES Advantage - perhaps you guys and gals should!) as I'm sure it would have been played on the commodore 64. This makes enemies tough to kill and puzzles difficult to solve, leading to some frustrating and confusing moments.  It's one of the more unique items on the list and should be played. I cautiously recommend it: it's often aggravating, but fun.

It's like Chubby Cherub, but fun!

Ninja Kid: Moving from a very atypical NES game to a very prototypical one, we get Tose's 1986 action-platformer, Ninja Kid. Upon first glance, our main hero looks very familiar. Could it be...? Yes, it is more or less the same sprite as the lovable ghost/cherub from Tose's Chubby Cherub! While both games came out around the same time here in the states, Chubby Cherub actually predates Ninja Kid, and boy is it obvious. That's not to say that Ninja Kid is drastically different than Chubby Cherub (both have similarly primitive graphics and similar arcade style gameplay) but the areas where Chubby Cherub fails (it is incredibly frustrating, random, and difficult) Ninja Kid succeeds. The controls are relatively tight, the platforming elements are rudimentary but serviceable for an arcade style scroller, and the enemies don't seem to block off your path and cheap shot you as much as in Chubby Cherub.

Those evil, evil dogs!

Ninja Kid does feel amazingly dated, but is a lot of fun in a similar style to the first Goemon game. Run around, jumping between platforms, shoot at enemies, wash, rinse, and repeat. There are minibosses and a map screen between levels that allows you to pick which level you want to play first. It's a lot of fun and is relatively dirt cheap compared to its uncommon sibling Chubby Cherub, so I recommend picking this one up!

New APP coming: Zen: Intergalactic Fruit Ninja!

Zen: Intergalactic Ninja: Rounding out this segment of ninja-related fare, we have Konami's 1993 action game Zen: Intergalactic Ninja. Based on a comic book that nobody I know has ever read, Zen focuses on a super-powered test-tube Ninja who is fighting the vile, despicable Lord Contaminous on his crusade to pollute the planet. Subtle job there, Message Hammer...really subtle. The action in Zen: Intergalactic Ninja is split into a couple of styles: one is reminiscent of games such as Isolated Warrior; an isometric 3d style environment where it is Zen versus robots, pitfalls, and the clock. A few stages are broken up into an action platforming game ala GI Joe, Batman, and a million others and there is also a railway car stage ala the Battletoads spaceship racer stage. The action is fluid and fast, the graphics are slightly muddy, but overall decent and the music is truly rockin'. The problem with Zen? It's a tough grind. In the isometric stage: the same problem that Isolated Warrior, Gremlins 2, and many other games with this perspective plagues Zen: a problem I like to call "the I-swear-I-made-that-jump!" issue. This particular perspective lends itself to a lot of second guessing when it comes to how close or far you are from the moving platform you're trying to land on or the bomb/laser/enemy you're trying to avoid or kill. It's not impossible, but can provide a lot of frustrating moments! The platforming stages are much more forgiving but still provide a huge challenge as everything is trying to kill you at once. Even though the difficulty level is relatively high, I recommend Zen: Intergalactic Ninja for your collection based on the variety of gameplay and originality. It is one of the more uncommon games on the list and is priced accordingly, but if you like a challenge and a bit of variety in your games, you can't go wrong here.

That's just round one of this two part series on Ninja games for the NES. Stay tuned as we recap some of the heaviest of heavy hitters and a few more hidden gems. You won't want to miss it!

Special thanks to my buddy James for the idea!

Die Hard (NES)

Buy yourself a copy or add your name to be notified here!

Here we go again: the holiday season! You've only got a few days left to wrap those gifts, gang! In order to take your mind off of the holiday doldrums, here's a game that is very peripherally related to Christmas. For some reason that I can't fathom, there really aren't that many games appropriate for the holidays. Aside from the bible games on the Nintendo and the occasional PC game hack or add-on that adds Santa hats to everything from Lemmings to Team Fortress snipers - there really isn't much in the Christmas game department. So here I am plumbing the limited well of Die Hard games to celebrate our snowy season!

So when we last left our grizzled hero John McClane: he was trudging through the original trilogy of Die Hard flicks in 1996's "Die Hard Trilogy" for the Playstation. A game that I recommended only based on the relatively low price point and the fact that you get 3 different games in 1 which was a novel idea and you could tell that the programmers really tried with that game. That game didn't hold up over the years but the NES is timeless, right? Surely this game should hold up much better than the pixelly, polygonal mess of sludgy Playstation-era gaming.

It's no mystery that movie licensed games are hit-or-miss and perhaps no system has more misses than the NES. Lethal Weapon, Total Recall, Terminator, Jaws, Rambo, Platoon, Friday the 13th: these are all games that I hold some quirky nostalgia for, but are ultimately terrible cash-ins. That being said, any of the Capcom Disney games were usually a success and Taito did a decent job with the Hannah Barbera stuff. Hell, even Willow was decently executed. So the question is: can Activision do what LJN, Bandai, or Sony Imagesoft were unable to do? Can they actually make a true-to-cinema representation of Die Hard?

Yes.

and No.

err...maybe.

...and figure out what this buffoon is actually trying to say!

Ok, let's get this right out of the way because it's necessary to put this game into context. This game is hard. I'm not just talking "Nintendo hard," this game is an unrelenting hail of bullets coming straight at your face. When I do these reviews I usually either tackle games that I've already beaten or gotten far enough along that I could easily give you guys and gals the gist of the entire experience. This game is so taxing that I have to admit - I had no choice but to call in the Genie. That's right: I'm a cheap, tawdry, tart in a pink tu-tu. A filthy, no good, down-and-out cheater. You may not respect me in the morning, but at least I got past the first floor. Let's continue.

So many objects on the screen that my NES is having a seizure!

Stylistically speaking, this game is very reminiscent of Alien Syndrome meets Gauntlet. A top-down perspective shooter where it's you versus 40 terrorists. The objectives are such: defeat all of the 40 terrorists, free the hostages on the thirtieth floor, knock out the security computer on floor 5 and defeat Hans the mastermind. So far, so good. The game takes many elements from the film and doesn't add a lot of useless, nonsensical fluff like most movie and tv tie-in games. There aren't pacman ghosts, spiders, dragons or anything that John McClane wouldn't have reasonably faced in the movie. Broken glass is one of the only main obstacles outside of gun-toting thugs and even that has a connection to the film.

                                              God Bless Youtube. Video by user ccnipper


So overall, one could argue that the game is a decent film tie-in based on the relative accuracy, the decently rendered cutscene graphics, and the fast action. However, the difficulty level of the game really mars the enjoyment level. Enemies pop out of dark corners from seemingly nowhere and will fire off bullets in all directions like a "bullet hell" style Shmup. They have a seemingly endless supply of bullets and have no trouble hitting you with most of them. YOU on the other hand are saddled with being able to shoot in awkward 90 or 45 degree angles with no real fluidity or finesse. This is predictable and expected of an NES game, but why can't the enemies be saddled with similar restraints. Or better yet, why can't the easy mode be easier? One of the only main differences between the two modes of easy or difficult is the randomization of floors. There are plenty of powerups in the game that can heal your hitpoints or foot power, but getting past the enemies and to a vending machine or medkit can be a struggle in and of itself - coupled with the fact that any corner that isn't in your immediate periphery is blacked out until you reach it.

Monkey statues = awesome

Another main downfall of the game is that the replayability level is relatively low. Unlike similarly oriented action games such as Zombies Ate My Neighbors, Alien Syndrome, Smash TV, or The Immortal: there's just not much variety waiting around the next corner. One relatively stale office room or boardroom after another, filled with tough to kill, generic bad guys, and no real room traps aside from the ability to accidentally plummet out of the windows or run into some broken glass and cut your tootsies up. In all of the other aforementioned games, there's danger, excitement, surprises around the corner. Here, there's a bearded bad guy movie cliche' on a two-way radio that gives you the heads up that more nondescript goons are coming to drain the last of your limited ammo and health.

But all of the gauze in the world won't cure his athlete's foot!

Overall, Die Hard is a reasonably successful game. If a challenge is what you're looking for, you will get that in spades. It doesn't have the deepest plot in the world, but neither did the movie. As Todd Snider once said in his song "Tension," "After the bad guy killed off all of the underdeveloped characters, the good guy put a bullet right through his head." The graphics are definitely serviceable, the music is a little grating at times but not a tragedy of Color Dreams proportions, and the fact that the game sticks relatively close to the film without veering off into the no man's land of nonsense game developer fantasies (I'm looking at YOU Nightmare on Elm Street) all add up to a licensed game that isn't perfect but definitely has promise. It's better than Dick Tracy, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Gilligan's Island, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, The Karate Kid, Best of the Best, and Platoon, so that's saying something. It's a bit on the pricier side (being an uncommon title) but would be a good action game to have for any NES collector. Happy Holidays and Yippie Ki Yay, Lukie Gamers!

Soul Blazer (SNES)

Click here to pick up your copy!

Full disclosure: when I was younger - I didn't care much for standard role playing games. Growing up, my only real experience with RPGs was playing over at my friends' houses. Typically, they would have another buddy already over there and they both would be huddled around the Super NES with controllers in-hand trying to blast through Final Fantasy II or III (or Final Fantasy IV and VI in Japan.) Which usually meant I had to patiently wait around near-silent for a few hours while they leveled up, combined magic, and screamed at the screen. Meanwhile, all I wanted to do was rip into Mortal Kombat a few times before I had to go home again. Outside of Faxanadu and Castlevania II - I didn't really own games with more than mild RPG elements. Naturally, this left me with a bad taste in my mouth for RPGs that lasted until a buddy of mine leant me a game that completely changed my view on RPGs forever. It was way outside of the realm of "typical" RPGs and played more like an action/adventure game (which I would later find out was similar in nature to Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, one of the greatest Super NES games of all time.) It was called Soul Blazer and would prove to be one of my favorite games for the SNES. I recently bought my own copy from Lukie Games to see if it still holds up to the nostalgia I've held onto since 1992. So the question is: does it live up to my memories?

Typically one of the most important elements in an RPG is the story. However, for the uninitiated - Rpgs can be an incredibly long time-sink that require paying attention to minute details and dialogue trees. "Where did the king tell me to travel to again?" "How am I supposed to free the mighty blade from the ground?" In Action/RPG games such as Soul Blazer, the story is still important in the overall enjoyment of the game; however, it is not nearly as lengthy or crucial as in games such as the Final Fantasy, Dragon Warrior, or Ultima series. In this game, you control a hero sent from "the master" to resurrect a series of towns held captive by the evil Deathtoll. Along the way you meet a cast of characters who give you items to progress through the story and to bring these dead cities back to life. It is a classic tale of good versus evil and is similar in tone to other Enix games with spiritual/religious undertones such as EVO, Illusion of Gaia, and the Actraiser series. The story and dialogue are decent enough, but might not satisfy the hardcore RPG crowd. For everyone else, this is a good primer for the RPG genre and the story moves along quick enough to not hinder the action.

"Paging Craig. Clean up on Aisle 5!"

Speaking of the action - it is quick, exciting, and effective. You have a sword attack and magic (both of which you will find upgrades for as you progress through the game.) Different swords, armor, and magic will be useful in different situations. IE: in the underwater city, it is crucial to have your bubble armor equipped - lest you take damage and drown. Some swords and magic are tailored against certain enemies, such as rock monsters or flying enemies. For the most part, you can progress through the game with your most powerful equipment on at all times - but in order to unlock all secret items and get through to the final stage - it is important to know what tools to use where. Battles are uncomplicated and flow in a swift pace (ala Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.) Instead of typical turn-based battles - you are free to hack, slash and even run past enemies if you wish. There are boss battles at the end of each level and thankfully three warp zones per level to return to the safe room - where you can save, load, and travel at your will.

BAH! What the heck is THAT thing?!

One of the main highlights of Soul blazer may also be my biggest criticism: at times, the game is perhaps a little too accessible. The challenge level is perfect for people who do not have much RPG experience under their belts, and for an 8 year old Chris - it was a perfect primer for the genre. However, I have now taken down several RPGs since, and what once was a cute, engaging action game has become a breeze to play. Most bosses have easy to master attack patterns and with the right technique can be killed without taking much damage. Most enemies can be struck down with one or two sword blows if you're properly equipped. Finally, aside from having to hop back and forth between levels in order to track down all of the hidden booty that you missed while you were a weakling - the game is linear enough that you're never going to get lost. When I stopped playing Chrono Trigger for a year and came back to the game - I had literally no idea what my last move was, so there was a lot of backtracking in order to figure out what to do next. In this game - I could leave it 90% finished, come back in three years, and know exactly what is left to finish the game. That is a terrific feature for beginners, but as a somewhat seasoned gamer it makes the game easy enough to beat over a long weekend.

That little green donut unlocks a bird...or a mermaid...or a...

So the question needs to be answered - is Soul Blazer as awesome as I remember it? Absolutely. It's fun, addictive, quick, and action-packed. It's also ridiculously easy now that I've clobbered more complex RPGs and admittedly - the story is a little thin. However, it is still well worth your time and investment for a relatively underrated Action/RPG classic. It's a bit on the collectible side these days so it may run you a bit more than your average SNES cart - but it's worth it. Pick up a copy for yourself!

Sunset Riders (Super Nes, Genesis)

Buy the Super NES Version Today!

...or buy the Sega Genesis Version!

Konami is known for bringing outstandingly high-quality games to arcades and home consoles for years. They brought us such classics as Contra, Metal Gear, Legend of the Mystical Ninja, Rush 'n Attack, The Simpsons arcade game (which, let's face it - is one of the only great Simpsons games,) and TMNT: Turtles in Time just to name a very few. They also are responsible for many sleeper hits, including this 1991 arcade masterpiece known as Sunset Riders.  While it is not the household name that games like Contra, Tiny Toon Adventures or Lethal Enforcers are - it is a fantastic game that is an absolute must for your collection.

Originally released in the arcades in 1991, Sunset Riders was ported to both the Sega Genesis and the Super Nintendo. Like most games brought to both systems, there are differences between each version. I personally have more experience with the Super NES release, so most of this review will focus on that particular version. However, it's important to get the differences between the two versions out of the way; that way you can make an informed decision on whether or not you would prefer the Super NES version or the Genesis version.

Doesn't my Pancho look soooo fashionable?!

The original arcade game allowed up to four players at one time and of course, (being the original release) does not suffer from hardware limitations or strict censorship codes - thus being the truest version of Sunset Riders. However, Lukie Games doesn't have arcade cabinets of it on hand and you're not likely looking for a big bulky cabinet anyway. The Genesis port came first and has a handful of differences from the arcade - mostly due to hardware limitations and localization. For starters, your roster of four characters is truncated to only two: Billy and Cormano. The amount of bosses is also cleaved in half - leaving you four of the original eight bad guys. The levels are rearranged and altered as well. However, something that the Genesis version has uniquely above the other two releases is a versus style gun fight where you and another player can test your quick-draw skills.

The Super NES version is more faithful to the arcade version, but also has a few changes here and there. For starters - your roster of characters is correct; however, only two players can play this game at a time. C'est la vie, multitap! Much of the other changes are due to Nintendo's conservative censorship policies. For example, the ladies in the game are wearing much less revealing attire, your characters no longer smoke or booze it up, and the Native American boss is renamed Chief Wigwam from Chief Scalpem. How this is more politically correct is kind of a mystery, but I'll buy that they were at least TRYING not to peeve the Native community. The graphics, sound and music are all top notch on the Super NES version and are noticeably less impressive on the Sega Genesis port. However, the Super NES version fetches a higher price tag, so it is up to you whether or not these differences will impact your buying decision. For serious collectors - why not get both?!



The gameplay of Sunset Riders is fast and addictive! If you love Contra, you will be well prepared for Riders, because the gameplay is very "Contra-with-cowboys." It takes great skill to avoid those bullets and your finger will constantly be on the trigger button at all times. If you want an extra challenge, crank that baby up to HARD mode and it will really feel like Contra. The western elements are all over this game and it makes you really feel like you're Clint Eastwood or John Wayne wasting a village full of bandits. There's stage coaches, saloons, train-hopping, cattle stampedes, falling boulders, and more. The game is fun by yourself, but even better with a teammate! This is definitely the game you bust out if you have a friend, girlfriend, cousin or whathaveyou come into town that wants to check out your game collection. Unless you're a seasoned gamer or have the difficulty set to easy - you'll really appreciate the extra help another player can provide in getting further in this game.

Yippie Ki Yay, Wagon-chucker!

Some of the highlights for me are the music, sound and humor. The game is full of great wild-west music and sounds that feel ripped right out of an episode of the Lone Ranger. The gunshot sound effects and stampeding bulls are satisfyingly accurate to a good, cheesy old-school western. There are hilarious scenes like the first boss battle where you knock Simon Greedwell out of the window and he bellows "Bury me with my...money!" Which sounds like "Marry me to my...money" through the Super NES' soundchip, but nonetheless is a comically corny one-liner that makes Sunset Riders feel like the authentically American western that only a Japanese game company could produce!

"Angry bees stole my...honey!"

In all honesty - aside from the few localization changes and the absence of a four-player co-op mode, I have absolutely no criticism of this game. It's addictive as all get out, the graphics are colorful and detailed, and the game feels like an authentic arcade port in your own home. It's a pricy game, but it's worth it. Grab a copy and a friend and blast through 8 levels of cowboy goodness. Yeehaw!

Mike’s Gameboy Game of the Week: Dexter’s Lab: Robot Rampage

If your reading this there is a high chance you have probably heard of the show Dexter’s Laboratory it ran four seasons from 1995 to late 2003 before being moved to Boomerang where it can still be viewed today (among other shows). Dexter’s Lab Robot Rampage is far from an original game, despite featuring many characters from the show itself it in actuality is the North American localized version Elevator Action EX. Depending on your age you may remember a game called Elevator Action as it was originally an arcade game made in 1983. Both Elevator Action EX and Robot Rampage play exactly alike, barring sprite differences the games are practically identical. Does this mean that Robot Rampage, and by osmosis Elevator Action, are bad games? Well I’ll tell you.

That friends is how you make an original game.

The point of the game is to complete four stages each with four parts in the form of four buildings with differing interiors. You complete each stage by collecting all of the documents which are hidden behind special doors which you can open. Once all the documents have been acquired your objective is to either climb to the top of the building or to head to the bottom where you will be taken to the next stage. As the games name implies you will be assaulted by robots who will follow you and try to kill you by either coming into contact with you or shooting you, you can destroy them by using your weapon on them. You start with a regular pistol but can acquire  several other weapons ranging from a machine gun to bombs which can make dealing with the plethora of constantly respawning robots much easier. Oh did I forget to mention that they constantly respawn? Well they do, so if you want to farm extra lives it’s pretty easy to do.

I’m serious.

The graphics for the game are fairly impressive for a Gameboy Color game, but that may be due to the limited amount of stuff you can actually interact with allowing for that kind of space. The soundtrack for the game isn’t all that memorable but isn’t grating enough that it makes you want to claw out your ears. The sheer simplicity of these games may be why they have been received so well over the years, you climb take some elevators up, shoot some robots, grab some documents, and get out. No matter where you look this game is very inexpensive but due to the overall simplicity of the game it’s so easy to jump in and out of it that it’s hard not to want to come back to it every once in a while. The only possible downside I could think of is that the game can be beaten in a around an hour or so, maybe less if you are really good. If you want a cheap quick game that can give you a grand old time I’d highly recommend Dexter’s Robot Rampage, and if you have access to a European Gameboy I’d also recommend Elevator Action EX.

Only if there will be a ridiculous amount of elevators.

Why is there an apartment full of Robots anyway?

Mike’s Gameboy Game of the Week: Guardian Heroes Advance

I have some fond memories of the original Guardian Heroes as I played it way back in late 90’s over a friends house, recently with the rerelease of Guardian Heroes for the Xbox 360 I have been able to relive those great memories of a fantastic Beatem’ up’ RPG with many endings and so many paths that it would take many play-throughs to truly enjoy the game. For comparisons sake the closest game to Guardian Heroes is Golden Axe, but the similarities are entirely superficial as unlike Golden Axe Guardian Heroes has a riveting story that changes based on your actions (I’d say both are great in the fighting aspect though.) Seeing is believing I supposed so here’s some gameplay footage of the first stage:

Unlike Golden Axe or any other beatem’ up you may have noticed that the characters don’t move around a three dimensional plane with enemies coming at them from all directions, instead the characters jump through three zones (one in the foreground, one in the middle, and one in the back) this feature while at first seeming ridiculous makes perfect sense from a design standpoint as in Guardian Heroes there are stages where lots of enemies will come at you all at once and being able to quickly jump to another zone out of their range giving a moment to collect yourself before the enemies all hop over. This feature is even more helpful due to the sheer difficulty of the game as mastering hopping from one zone to the other can mean life or death at points.

 

Look at those generic soldiers, think their tough shit jumpin’ out of the way of my lightning.

It would be impossible for me to fully explain to you the sheer depth of the story of this game with it’s many plot twists, undead, demons, gods, murder, and vampire clowns, however I can tell you this, you can play as any character you defeat in versus mode (in the Xbox 360 version you can play online as well).

Oh yes, even bosses.

Now that you have some grasp of the basic premise of Guardian Heroes lets talk about its sequel Guardian Heroes Advance.

---

Guardian Heroes Advance takes things a little differently, it does away with the whole zone nonsense and allows you to move about a three dimensional plane, it also added a homing jump (a jump that automatically takes you to whatever the nearest platform is) and platforming elements to mix things up. It also did away the path choosing element of the previous game where you instead move along a linear path towards the ending of the game, luckily though there are two endings so it guarantee’s you at least two playthroughs. Not one of the things that makes up for it is how much depth they added to the combat system with the addition of a counter that can nullify damage and larger move pools for all characters.

Honestly what more could you want?

Of all the characters though the main three Enn, Ray, and who cares because they are all identical and their stats are the only major differences between them, have the largest move pools with different possible attack combos based on directional movements and how long you hold down the attack button. I personally like the addition of a ground pound attack that does area damage. Magic which in the previous game could only be executed by certain button combos (like a haduken) was a tad hard to pull off when a bunch of enemies were punching you in the face Advance fixes this problem by making it so that magic is charges and selected using the shoulder buttons making it a lot easier to pop-off magic spells when you need them.

The change was pretty shocking.

Now Guardian Heroes Advance follows the adventure of the Undead hero from the first game as he is revived by taking over the body of whichever generic main character you chose to start with. You are immediately tasked with saving the world from the Sky Kingdom as they hope to take over the world and create the “Ultimate Warrior”.

I honestly don’t know why though…

So you battle through stages fighting many enemies and eventually you wind up fighting the cast from the previous series who are apparently being controlled by the Sky Kingdom. You beat them and depending on certain conditions you get one of two endings after fighting the final boss. Now the real fun of this game comes after you have beaten it. Remember how earlier I said that in Guardian Heroes you could play as any character in versus mode? Well in Guardian Heroes Advance you can play as ANY character in both versus mode and story mode. So long after you’ve seen the ending of the games you can go back and decide to play as the best mage in the game and just spam uber-spells murdering all of the things.

The didn’t know what hit them.

I haven’t really touched on what versus mode is yet have I? Well in both games it is a feature in which up to twelve characters (be they human or CPU) can all duke it out. This means that you can either have twelve of the baddest bosses pounding on each other of just one tackling a whole bunch of the weakest enemies and utterly destroying them (or losing somehow [it happens oddly enough]). In versus mode you get to assign stats to each character based on the level cap you have chosen and they can either be preset stat distributions or you can set them however you want, this can amount to hours of amusement.

Dance my puppets, DANCE!

I found that Guardian Heroes Advance doesn’t easily appeal to many people due to the fact that a majority of the mythos of the game is lost upon a person who hasn’t played the first game. Guardian Heroes Advance is a must have for anyone who liked the first game and for anyone who is a diehard fan of Beatem’ Ups. The game has memorable characters and a decent soundtrack, the graphics are alright for a Gameboy Advance game, the controls are amazing, and you can play as any character in the game after you’ve killed them. Seriously, what isn’t there to love? To add even more incentive the game is fairly inexpensive. So why not pick a copy now? You can also grab a copy of the original game off the Xbox Live Arcade for 800 MS points if you don’t have a Sega Saturn.

G.I. Joe: The Atlantis Factor (NES)

Being the holiday season and all, it's only fitting to discuss a toy that swept the nation whenever I was a child in the late 80's and early 90's. It was the action figure playset under every Christmas tree. Kids would trade 'em, toss 'em out of windows in their two-story houses, bury them in the backyard and melt them in the microwave. They were tough little buggers and were a little slice of 60's American military propaganda revamped for the cold-war era. I'm talking about G.I. Joe, kids. The cartoon was everywhere, the toys were hot-selling Christmas must-haves, and everyone's older brother would light them on fire using nothing but a magnifying glass and the power of the sun's u.v. rays. That's science!

Naturally any trend this hot would have to be capitalized on with a video game series. The first G.I. Joe game for the NES was released by Taxan in 1991 and it's a darn fine action shooter. The Atlantis Factor is a Capcom produced sequel to the original and keeps much of the same magic from the original game the same by adding some variation here and there. There are some elements I like about the first game better than TAF, such as being able to pick your team in the beginning rather than having to unlock your members throughout gameplay. However, The Atlantis Factor is a heck of a game in its own right and can have a comfortable place in your NES collection next to other great TV and movie license games. Just keep Jaws and Gilligan's Island far away from it.

Samuel L. Jackson here means serious business

G.I. Joe the Atlantis Factor is an action/shooter that plays a lot like a cross between Contra and Mega Man. The story picks up after the end of the first game where your Joes destroyed Cobra Commander and smashed up his crew. They discovered that their island was atop the remains of the lost city of Atlantis and discovered a power that would resurrect Cobra Commander and help them to take over the world!

It was either this or Raul Julia as M. Bison. Of course!

Your mission naturally is to jump, punch, kick, and shoot your way through a series of badguys on your way to destroying Cobra once and for all. One of the cooler features of TAF is the ability to select your next stage/path ala Super Mario Bros. 3 or Castlevania 3. You start your mission with General Hawk and as you progress through the game you will unlock different members of your team such as Wet Suit, Snake Eyes, Duke and more. Some members have different specialties and thus different advantages and disadvantages depending on the stage you're playing. One of the other bonuses of having other team members is that they also double as your lives - you lose a member of your team and you still have at least another to take his place. To the best of my knowledge you have infinite continues and at the very least have a password system to keep your place but it's nice to have those other teammates in a pinch.

"Lookit the door, Johnny!"

A neat feature of TAF is that you can level up your players skills. While it's certainly not as thorough or full-featured as an RPG game would be, it's still satisfying to pick up those little POW power-ups and gain new fighting skills like kicking and spray shots. It also acts as an incentive to select your other teammates every now and then in order to level up their health meter and skills so you're not up Cobra creek without a Shark 9000. The only downside to any of this is the absurd way in which powerups appear in the game. Occasionally they will be stationary or hidden behind pillars and on top of platforms. This is perfectly acceptable as per the official rulebook of "Solid Game Making 101." However, every time you blow up one of your opponents a power-up will spring from their head like a rubber bouncy ball and fly in the opposite direction so if you don't jump in midair immediately after killing said bad guy, it will fly half way across the screen (potentially never to be seen again.) While power-ups are plentiful in this game, it's amazingly frustrating to have to track down power-ups like much-needed ammo or health. Why on earth couldn't it just drop to the ground instead of going all Contra-style and fly over my head never to be seen again?

Hawk traded his combat boots for Jordans

With the graphical and musical limitations of the NES in mind - this game has some top-notch presentation. Your Joe team members don't look overly stock and are identifiable as individual characters rather than just palette-swapped army dudes. The level designs are for the most part top-notch, although the first G.I. Joe did a few more interesting things graphically - such as having enemies leap from the foreground to right in front of your character - and by having some more depth of field. That being said, there's still a lot to love about the graphics in TAF, and even the lesser levels are no worse than some of the lazier Mega Man levels which were basically assembled with blocks, pipes and other industrial looking things. The only major peeve I have with the level design is that one of the first jungle levels has so many bushes and canopies that it's hard to tell which are usable platforms and which are just part of the background. Also in that particular level you have to take a few leaps of faith that may or may not land you in a pit. The music is totally rockin'. I would definitely say that the soundtrack to this game is up their with great action games such as the Mega Man and Ninja Gaiden series.

Hey kids! Guess what is and isn't a platform!

The game is not perfect - you have a few things from the first game that should have made it over to the sequel such as setting up a team from the jump and being able to switch characters on the fly. However, this is an excellent example of a game that took a fairly shallow premise (action figures turned cartoon where your military guys blow up bad guys) and made it into two very well polished NES gems. Anyone who enjoys action games such as Contra, Mega Man, Bucky O Hare, and even Ninja Gaiden will be able to find a lot of quality gaming in G.I. Joe Atlantis Factor. It's available now from Lukie Games and would make a wonderful holiday gift for someone you love - even if that person is yourself!

Ok, so not a scuba mask - but you get the idea.

Die Hard Trilogy (Playstation, Sega Saturn, PC)

ARRRGH! EXPLOSIONS!!!!111!!!

It's December and the holidays are approaching quicker than you can say "Deck the Halls." One of the most popular ways for people to get into the holiday spirit around this time of year is by watching holiday-themed movies. You've got "It's a Wonderful Life," "Miracle on 34th Street," "8 Crazy Nights," "Friday After Next," All of those wonderful claymation movies, and my wife's personal favorite - a Christmas Story. Yes, Ralphie - you will shoot your eye out. Over and over and over again. 24 Hours of A Christmas Story is enough to make me wanna shoot my own eyes out. Here's the premise - take a movie I once loved and play it into the ground. But I digress. In order to combat the holiday blues, my favorite holiday movie is Die Hard. The trouble is - I always seem to only catch the tail end of the movie every single time it's playing on tv. However, I recently purchased Fox Interactive's 1996 hit game "Die Hard Trilogy" for the Playstation and can have the complete interactive experience of actually kicking butt and taking names in John McClane's shoes! Well, sort of.

For starters, this is a game that did extremely well with critics and fans when it was released way back in 1996. So well in fact, that they re-released it as one of those "Greatest Hits" series games with the ugly green spine labels on them. When IGN reviewed it back in 1996 they stated, "This is one of the best games you can buy for the Playstation, and the fact that there's actually three games makes it all the better." (http://psx.ign.com/articles/150/150447p1.html). Reviewers praised the high-action gameplay, the replay value, the buckets of blood, and the fact that you get three wildly different games packed into one disc. While it's very hard to argue with any of these points, I'm pretty sure in the next few paragraphs we can chip away at the otherwise shiny veneer that this game had almost 12 years ago.

Boom!

I believe the old adage goes something like this; "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions." That's exactly how I would describe "Die Hard Trilogy." The previous reviewers were absolutely correct in praising Fox Interactive and Probe for having a game that contains essentially 3 games in 1. Also, as the IGN reviewers pointed out - it doesn't necessarily feel like a budget title either. This game feels like a full fledged, arcade style action extravaganza in the comfort of your own home. All of these things might have been impressive in 1996, but looking back there's definitely room for improvement here. I mean - do you guys and gals remember what the "arcade style experience" was like in '96? All of those clunky, ugly polygons in Silent Scope or the first entries in Virtua Fighter and Tekken? Those games haven't aged well either. So is having 3 of these high-flying, bullet-slinging, gut-exploding action games really a great deal?

Let's not beat around the bush; the original Playstation's graphics were pretty horrific. Any of the titles that were cartoony and/or two-dimensional were usually pretty good, and later titles such as Tenchu and Metal Gear Solid were able to get 3d graphics down to a smooth science. However, games such as those aforementioned 3d arcade-style titles would tend to be a gross polygonal clusterfudge. Die Hard Trilogy falls into this category. Playing the first Die Hard title on a 40-inch widescreen HD tv is like sticking your head underwater and trying to play a Virtual Boy at the same time. It's a disorienting mess of pixels where you're constantly being shot at from all directions and somehow have to manage to A.) not get killed by these generic looking baddies, B.) not blow yourself up by shooting these explosive cars, C.) rescue a handful of hostages, and finally 4.) get out of the building before the bomb goes off. This proved to be an exercise in futility for me because trying to find the exit in this generic mess of pixels would actually be easier if I was playing blindfolded, spun around 3 times and given a stick to whack at my TV until candy falls out or John McClane decides to stop spitting out the same three generic one-liners. The graphics are such a slurry, sludgey mess that they give me motion sickness and everyone on screen from "clearly not Bruce Willis" to "clearly the same palette swapped badguys" and finally to the sad hostages - will all say a maximum of two to three lines of constantly repeating dialogue. Ever played Blood II: The Chosen? It's just about that annoying.

Die Hard 1: Attack of The Crooked Pixel

The second game is a rail shooter akin to Area 51. I have a few less gripes about the graphics as they are less nausea-inducing - However, the bad guys and hostages have nothing to distinguish themselves from each other and you'll get tired of shooting the same guys in black trenchcoats and trying to avoid shooting the same ladies in tacky white sweaters. Hmm, "Ladies in Tacky White Sweaters" sounds like a good indie band. The first time I played it - I got snuffed out pretty quickly. Controlling this without a lightgun is kinda tough and anyone playing on an HD TV is S.O.L if they want to play with anything but a controller. However, I improved my game immensely the second go-round when I decided to play like an evil Russian bad guy instead of John McClane and instead shot every single pixel that wasn't nailed down. That's right - cops, badguys, men, women and children all got sprayed with "not Bruce Willis'" bullets of justice. It was Christmas eve and I was sending a lot of souls to the holy ghost that night. You know what? The game is a lot more fun when you indiscriminately shoot everything from the ceiling tiles to the Christmas trees and everything in between. I still died but it didn't seem to penalize me for going all Waco on everybody. The only warning the game seems to give you is a big "Whoops" sign over innocent victims. Yup. Whoops.

"Sorry dawg, my bad!"

The third and final game is Die Hard With a Vengence - aka poor man's Crazy Taxi. You drive around hitting what appear to be guys hiding behind trashcans with your car as a voice actor who sounds more like Chris Tucker than Samuel L. Jackson chastises you for not driving fast or well enough. Once again, you can let out your Carmageddon-like fantasies and mow down every pedestrian in sight with a satisfying blood spray if that's your bag. Supposedly I'm driving a taxi in this game - but with the clunky mechanics and the inability to slow down well enough to take turns carefully and accurately, it feels more like I'm driving Satan's one-wheeled rickshaw strapped to a rocket. Is this game fun? Well - only if you like running into walls, pedestrians, and watching the city blow up every 3 minutes because the "bomb car" is pretty hard to follow with these horrific driving mechanics. The way the driving goes in this game, you'd think John McClane has a rabid badger running around in his underroos. The game is fun to kill time and innocent bystanders - but not much else.

Your insurance wont cover this

So how does Die Hard Trilogy stand up this many years later? It's a good time-killer and definitely good for a few unintentional laughs (actually, I take that back. I KNOW the programmers wanted me to mow down innocent people in this game.) I would have a hard time recommending this for anyone after one of the finest examples of Playstation gaming - but for the price, you get 3 radically different games that can be enjoyed with a wicked sense of humor and an evil laugh or two.