What Handheld should I get? Pros and Cons (Gen VII Edition) Part 2-PlayStation Portable

   Way back in 2003 a tiny little handheld was announced during a time when everyone was going on and on about how the future of gaming was in MMORPG’s. Which is kinda’ true, but I’m not here to discuss how eventually we’ll all be wearing virtual reality helmets trying to solve the mystery of your friend falling into a coma. I’m here to talk about a Handheld console that has had almost as many revisions as the Xbox 360. The PlayStation Portable boasted some of the best spec’s of any handheld ever conceived at the time having the prototype GUI of the PS3, the ability to play movies, view pictures, and most importantly it played games with graphics similar to that of late era PlayStation games. Despite boasting such impressive specs and such impressive features the system was marred with a host of design flaws and marketing problems. Aren’t you lucky you have me to explain all this?

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PlayStation Portable

   The PlayStation Portable was Sony’s answer to Nintendo’s long line of successful handhelds originally launched on March 24, 2005 in North America with mixed reactions as many weren’t to thrilled with how much more expensive it was than the Japanese version. Despite retailing at $250 the Sony managed to push 500,000 units in the first week alone. The handheld was revolutionary for its ability to not only play games but act as a sort of media center by being able to play not only games but music and video, it also boasted higher specs than the Nintendo DS and was able to play games at higher resolutions and with better graphical quality. The PlayStation Portable also could utilize WiFi for both local and online play of games similar to the Nintendo DS. If you ever became bored of how the systems interface looked you could download new themes and backgrounds for the system and customize the media icons to make the system more personal.

You’d be surprised at the level of variety.

   The PlayStation Portable went under many revisions with its final form being the recently released PlayStation Vita. Sony has had to deal with many bumps in the road involving both marketing and building its gaming systems. If it isn’t from terrible marketing campaigns, to poor anti-piracy measures they've more or less spent the past decade on a steep learning curve as they’ve been trying to reach the plinth that the other gaming giant Nintendo has been standing proudly on for decades.

   All games on the handheld come in either UMD form or can be downloaded from the PlayStation store and saved onto a seperate memory stick.

Tiny DVD’s, who would’ve thought they’d catch on?

Pros and Cons of the System (Overall)

Pros:

• Media Center: Can be used to play MP3’s, view pictures, and play UMD’s and stream video
• Some good First Party titles: Sony somewhat dropped the ball on the PSP, although they have published some good games they’ve also published lots of shovelware in the form of generic sports and shooting games. But Ratchet and Clank, and Ape Escape more then make up for it?
• High Resolution Screen: 480 × 272 at a 16:9 aspect ratio (widescreen in layman's)
• Decent amount of good third party games: Atlus, Capcom, and Konami have a host of great games on the console from many of their flagship series.
• Region-Free (sans E1000 and PSP Go!): The 1000 – 3000 series can play UMD’s from any region.
• TV-Play: From the 2000 model up the system can be hooked up to a television by using a special TV-out cord
• Multiplayer: The system supports Adhoc and WiFi multiplayer
• WiFi: All the models besides the E1000 have wireless capabilities

Cons:

• Expensive: The PSP (depending on model) can be very expensive
• Shovelware: For every good game there is twenty sports and call of duty games

• Proprietary hardware: The system only accepts specially made power plugs for each individual model, based on the differing shapes and sizes of each console many accessories such as cases and screen protectors need to be rebought for each different model.

• Small Library of games: The PSP does not have the largest video game library boasting only a couple hundred games.
• Hard to repair: Like all things in life PSP’s can break and when they do they come at a price. PSP repair parts are not only expensive (pushing $10-$20 for a new screen alone) they aren’t easy to repair. The process for taking apart and replacing anything is terribly convoluted and not really worth the time of anyone who is inexperienced when it comes to fixing electronics.
• Short Battery Life: All of the PSP’s average between 4-10 hours of battery life. The newer models may be able to last longer if you get a new battery slapped into it.
• Region-Locked: The E1000 and PSP Go! are both region locked. The PSP Go! because you have to use Sony’s online store which only lets you download games for the region you registered with them. The E1000 can only play games for the region it was designed for.

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• PlayStation Portable 1000
• Released: March 24th, 2005

   The first model released, it boasted graphics unseen in the handheld market and the ability to play movies and televisions shows sold in the form of UMD discs. Within the year of its release a system update allowed the handheld to surf the on an opera based browser. If you wanted to be able to use the internets on the PSP you had to make sure that the system was set to it as there is an external switch that alternates between both ad-hoc connections and Wi-Fi. Compared to previous handheld consoles the PSP boasts the crispest, largest, and most colorful display.

   As the first version in the series it sets the bar that many of the redesigns will attempt to surpass, it features Local and Online play through Ad-hoc or a Wi-Fi connection and can play videos and music off of a Memory Stick Pro Duo.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

• Infrared Connection: I could never find a use for it, but some people did by making their PSP’s remotes for their TV’s.
• Metal Frame: The 1000 model has a metal frame and many of the internal parts are made of metal which helps if you are prone to dropping things.
• Cheap: The 1000 model is the cheapest model (used) out of the series
• Wireless Multiplayer: It supports both Adhoc (local) and WiFi multiplayer
• Media Center: It can play movies, music, and pictures
• Download Play: If you have a PSN account you can download games onto a Memory Stick Pro Duo and play them!

Cons:

• Bulky: The PSP – 1000 isn’t the kind of system you just cram into your pocket. Its bulky (and in some manners maybe unwieldy) which is natural considering that its Sony’s first shot at making a handheld.
• Short Battery Life: Unless you buy a high quality new battery it is likely that you will only be getting between 2-6 hours out of your PSP
• Only one flavor: The original PSP only came in a glossy Piano Black 
• Spring Loaded UMD Bay: By pressing a switch the bay pops open, but if its handled to roughly the bay can break.

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• PlayStation Portable  2000
• Released: September 6, 2007

   In at E3 2007 Sony announced their first redesign of the PlayStation Portable which was thinner and boasted a much brighter screen then the previous model. The 2000 model was the beginning of a series of design improvements which trimmed the fat of the console down while adding extra features. The only major improvement internally is that it has double the cache memory of the 1000 model which helps with load times in most of the games. There are  also claims that it has better Wi-Fi connectivity but in my experience I found no noticeable difference between the 1000 and 2000 model. The screen is slightly brighter and the system comes in a variety of flavors and special editions.

   A small aesthetic change is that the UMD door is no longer spring loaded and you manual open and close it, the battery is also slimmer so you can’t swap batteries between the 1000 and 2000 models. A pretty big addition to the handheld is a headphone and video out port so that you can connect the system to a TV which you can play at a whopping 480x320 resolution! :o

Pros and Cons

Pros:

• Low-Profile: The PSP – 2000 is significantly more lightweight and slimmer than the original 1000 model.
• TV-Out: The PSP – 2000 has a combo headphone and video-out port that you can use to connect to a Television using a special cable.
• Fast Load Speeds: The extra cache memory allows the system to load and read games, video, and music faster than the 1000 model
• USB Charging: The 2000 model is the first in the series that allows you to charge the handheld with the any mini-usb
• USB-Computer Connection: You can sort and mess about with the content of the memory stick and even update the system by connecting it to the computer
• Flavor Variety: Blue, Black, Red, White, a host of colors are your to choose from along with several special editions.
• Decent Battery Life: The 2000 one a fresh battery can get between 6 – 8 hours
• Instant Messaging: You can download Skype and chat with your friends. It does not support video even with the Camera add-on.
• Manual UMD Bay: The UMD bay is now manually opened and closed which prevents almost any sort of malfunction involving the drive bay.

Cons:

• Plastic Frame: An odd revision is that that the 2000 model is made entirely out of Plastic which isn’t terribly sturdy and can’t take much of a drop.
• Low Quality Video Out: Even though the system has video-out it isn’t high quality by any stretch of the imagination and is letterboxed.

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• PlayStation Portable 3000
• Released: October 14th 2008

   Physically the 3000 model seems almost identical to the 2000 but the handheld has an even brighter screen with better refresh rates than its predecessors. The Screen on the handheld is coated in an anti-glare material so that you can play games under even the most obnoxious of lights The console also has a small microphone now built in and so that when you scream at the system for freezing while you try to play Mobile Suit Gundam Crossfire it can actually hear it. Besides the better screen the innards of the system are basically the same and I noticed no improvements in the playing of games compared to the previous two consoles.

Some owners have complained of screen tearing issues.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

• Everything from the 2000 model: The 3000 model retains all of the features of the 2000 while adding new ones
• Microphone: The PSP – 3000 comes with a fully working microphone
• Anti-Glare Screen: The screen of the handheld has an anti-glare film that eliminated the most common problem with handheld gaming, the reflection caused by the sun. Now you can game at any time of the day with no real hassle!
• Improved screen: The screen of the 3000 is brighter and features much more vibrant color then the 1000 and 2000 models

Cons

• Screen Tearing: There have been reports of screen tearing during regular play. Screen tearing is when during regular use lines temporarily appear on the LCD that can impede gameplay.
• Microphone: Despite having a functional microphone no known game released in North America utilizes it. It can be used for some homebrew games though.

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• PlayStation Portable E1000
• Released: Sometime in 2011

Disclaimer: This is a PAL console but it is technically a revision so I’m including it for posterity.

   The E1000 isn’t a rerelease of the 1000 line, it’s actually a budget model retailing a paltry $99. How could the get away with such a low low price? Well they did that by removing every single piece of extra hardware and software from the console giving you a barebones experience. Have you ever hated how fingerprints so easily stare back at you when you play a system with a glossy finish? Well the E1000 is the only PSP to have a Matte finish which prevents that scenario from ever becoming reality. The entire back part of the system is one big foldout drive for the UMD which in my opinion is an odd design choice.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

• Cheap: The E1000 is the cheapest (new) PSP on the market
• Lightweight: The E1000 is the lightest and slimmest of the PSPs (mostly because of all the things that were removed)
• Decent Screen: Unlike the 3000 model the E1000 doesn’t have any of the screen tearing issues but has a screen that is just as vibrant and bright.

Cons

• No Wifi: The E1000 only supports local multiplayer and does not have the ability to utilize WiFi for either online play or for surfing the internet.
• No Microphone: Oddly the E1000 doesn’t feature a microphone.
• Plastic Frame: It feels cheap, and I don’t think it could take a drop very well.

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• PlayStation Portable GO!
• Released: October 1rst 2009

   Real Talk: I have no idea what Sony was thinking on this one. So the PSP Go is a radical redesign of the console for I assume Sentai heroes. The system is significantly thinner then all of the other models and features a slide-out design similar to modern texting phones. Long gone is the UMD drive and separate battery, both replaced with an internal rechargeable battery and a 16gb hard drive. Sony made it very clear in designing the system they wanted you to purchase games from their online store and download them to the console, especially the PSone classics which it was campaigning very heavily.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

• Compact: For the hero on the go you can fit this in even the tightest of tights. Seriously though its pretty small.
• Designed for the hero on the go: It’s the only logical explanation for its existence.
• Internal Storage: It features 16gb of internal memory for saving your downloaded games.
• Decent Battery Life: You can get up to 10 hours of usage on a full charge
• Bluetooth: If you have a device that supports bluetooth controllers you can use the PSP Go! as one.

Cons

• Digital Download only: If you like the PlayStation Network then you’ll love the fact that you can only download games onto the system.
• No UMD support: You might as well toss out those UMD’s because the Go! can’t use em’

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Final Verdict

   My personal recommendation will always be original 1000 model due to its durability and low price point. HOWEVER! I understand that it does not have many of the features of the later models, such as instant messaging, access to Sony’s PSone classics, and the fastest of load times. Objectively I’d say the best bang for your buck is the PSP 2000. It has not only a host of features but you can get it in different colors and special edition variants. I cannot in good conscience recommend the PSP Go! or the E1000 they both take away so much from the PSP experience while replacing it with nothing substantial.

PSP – 2000 is best PSP

PSP Trivia: The PSP Go!’s design was used to create Sony’s Xperia Play line of smartphones.

Die Hard Trilogy (Playstation, Sega Saturn, PC)

ARRRGH! EXPLOSIONS!!!!111!!!

It's December and the holidays are approaching quicker than you can say "Deck the Halls." One of the most popular ways for people to get into the holiday spirit around this time of year is by watching holiday-themed movies. You've got "It's a Wonderful Life," "Miracle on 34th Street," "8 Crazy Nights," "Friday After Next," All of those wonderful claymation movies, and my wife's personal favorite - a Christmas Story. Yes, Ralphie - you will shoot your eye out. Over and over and over again. 24 Hours of A Christmas Story is enough to make me wanna shoot my own eyes out. Here's the premise - take a movie I once loved and play it into the ground. But I digress. In order to combat the holiday blues, my favorite holiday movie is Die Hard. The trouble is - I always seem to only catch the tail end of the movie every single time it's playing on tv. However, I recently purchased Fox Interactive's 1996 hit game "Die Hard Trilogy" for the Playstation and can have the complete interactive experience of actually kicking butt and taking names in John McClane's shoes! Well, sort of.

For starters, this is a game that did extremely well with critics and fans when it was released way back in 1996. So well in fact, that they re-released it as one of those "Greatest Hits" series games with the ugly green spine labels on them. When IGN reviewed it back in 1996 they stated, "This is one of the best games you can buy for the Playstation, and the fact that there's actually three games makes it all the better." (http://psx.ign.com/articles/150/150447p1.html). Reviewers praised the high-action gameplay, the replay value, the buckets of blood, and the fact that you get three wildly different games packed into one disc. While it's very hard to argue with any of these points, I'm pretty sure in the next few paragraphs we can chip away at the otherwise shiny veneer that this game had almost 12 years ago.

Boom!

I believe the old adage goes something like this; "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions." That's exactly how I would describe "Die Hard Trilogy." The previous reviewers were absolutely correct in praising Fox Interactive and Probe for having a game that contains essentially 3 games in 1. Also, as the IGN reviewers pointed out - it doesn't necessarily feel like a budget title either. This game feels like a full fledged, arcade style action extravaganza in the comfort of your own home. All of these things might have been impressive in 1996, but looking back there's definitely room for improvement here. I mean - do you guys and gals remember what the "arcade style experience" was like in '96? All of those clunky, ugly polygons in Silent Scope or the first entries in Virtua Fighter and Tekken? Those games haven't aged well either. So is having 3 of these high-flying, bullet-slinging, gut-exploding action games really a great deal?

Let's not beat around the bush; the original Playstation's graphics were pretty horrific. Any of the titles that were cartoony and/or two-dimensional were usually pretty good, and later titles such as Tenchu and Metal Gear Solid were able to get 3d graphics down to a smooth science. However, games such as those aforementioned 3d arcade-style titles would tend to be a gross polygonal clusterfudge. Die Hard Trilogy falls into this category. Playing the first Die Hard title on a 40-inch widescreen HD tv is like sticking your head underwater and trying to play a Virtual Boy at the same time. It's a disorienting mess of pixels where you're constantly being shot at from all directions and somehow have to manage to A.) not get killed by these generic looking baddies, B.) not blow yourself up by shooting these explosive cars, C.) rescue a handful of hostages, and finally 4.) get out of the building before the bomb goes off. This proved to be an exercise in futility for me because trying to find the exit in this generic mess of pixels would actually be easier if I was playing blindfolded, spun around 3 times and given a stick to whack at my TV until candy falls out or John McClane decides to stop spitting out the same three generic one-liners. The graphics are such a slurry, sludgey mess that they give me motion sickness and everyone on screen from "clearly not Bruce Willis" to "clearly the same palette swapped badguys" and finally to the sad hostages - will all say a maximum of two to three lines of constantly repeating dialogue. Ever played Blood II: The Chosen? It's just about that annoying.

Die Hard 1: Attack of The Crooked Pixel

The second game is a rail shooter akin to Area 51. I have a few less gripes about the graphics as they are less nausea-inducing - However, the bad guys and hostages have nothing to distinguish themselves from each other and you'll get tired of shooting the same guys in black trenchcoats and trying to avoid shooting the same ladies in tacky white sweaters. Hmm, "Ladies in Tacky White Sweaters" sounds like a good indie band. The first time I played it - I got snuffed out pretty quickly. Controlling this without a lightgun is kinda tough and anyone playing on an HD TV is S.O.L if they want to play with anything but a controller. However, I improved my game immensely the second go-round when I decided to play like an evil Russian bad guy instead of John McClane and instead shot every single pixel that wasn't nailed down. That's right - cops, badguys, men, women and children all got sprayed with "not Bruce Willis'" bullets of justice. It was Christmas eve and I was sending a lot of souls to the holy ghost that night. You know what? The game is a lot more fun when you indiscriminately shoot everything from the ceiling tiles to the Christmas trees and everything in between. I still died but it didn't seem to penalize me for going all Waco on everybody. The only warning the game seems to give you is a big "Whoops" sign over innocent victims. Yup. Whoops.

"Sorry dawg, my bad!"

The third and final game is Die Hard With a Vengence - aka poor man's Crazy Taxi. You drive around hitting what appear to be guys hiding behind trashcans with your car as a voice actor who sounds more like Chris Tucker than Samuel L. Jackson chastises you for not driving fast or well enough. Once again, you can let out your Carmageddon-like fantasies and mow down every pedestrian in sight with a satisfying blood spray if that's your bag. Supposedly I'm driving a taxi in this game - but with the clunky mechanics and the inability to slow down well enough to take turns carefully and accurately, it feels more like I'm driving Satan's one-wheeled rickshaw strapped to a rocket. Is this game fun? Well - only if you like running into walls, pedestrians, and watching the city blow up every 3 minutes because the "bomb car" is pretty hard to follow with these horrific driving mechanics. The way the driving goes in this game, you'd think John McClane has a rabid badger running around in his underroos. The game is fun to kill time and innocent bystanders - but not much else.

Your insurance wont cover this

So how does Die Hard Trilogy stand up this many years later? It's a good time-killer and definitely good for a few unintentional laughs (actually, I take that back. I KNOW the programmers wanted me to mow down innocent people in this game.) I would have a hard time recommending this for anyone after one of the finest examples of Playstation gaming - but for the price, you get 3 radically different games that can be enjoyed with a wicked sense of humor and an evil laugh or two.

Dark Cloud (PS2) Review

Dark Cloud is an RPG for the PlayStation 2 and was originally intended to be a launch title for the system however it was instead released a year later. I personally have some pretty fond memories of this game as it was the first PlayStation 2 game I ever purchased. I remember traversing through the many dungeons in the game and building up my weapons to take on the boss’s at the end of each dungeon, I also recall the time I spent trying to get every town set up perfectly so that the people in it would all be happy and reward me for my efforts. In my opinion this was the best of the early RPG’s for the console (not that it had many to contend with), though throughout this review we shall see if it truly is as great a gem as I believed when I first bought the game.

Being that this is an RPG story is a strong element of the game I find it best that we explore this aspect first; Dark Cloud is about a young boy named Toan (or butt, or whatever it is you choose to name him) as he is tasked with the reconstruction of the world by the Fairy King after the Dark Genie destroys a good deal of the world (by world I mean like three towns, and a giant robot). Over the course of the game Toan explores the mystery surrounding the origins of the Dark Genie and a way to ultimately destroy him, over the course of the adventure he travels to many places, a desert, a jungle village, the moon and over the course of the adventure he befriends like-minded people who also suffered from the attack of the Dark Genie.

A damn fine Genie of Darkness he is.

This game is heavy on two major elements, story, and dungeon exploration, and both of these elements will be the main meat of the game. Dungeons average about 20 floors but the last dungeon and the secret dungeon are the only real exception. There are additional elements to the game, which are not mandatory but add quite a bit of depth (and some grinding) to the game. These elements are the fishing points system, and the weapon building system, both of which require time and patience but are greatly rewarding in their own respects.
Dungeons in this game are fairly standard, one entrance one exit and a hella lot of monsters to battle. However there is more to every floor then meets the eye, each floor is broken up into two parts the second of which is optional as each floor (excluding boss floors) has a “back floor” which is a floor you can only access through usage of a key on a special door which takes you to the back floor. The back floors generally have stronger monsters, but to naturally offset this the treasure chests on back floors tend to have some pretty great surprises be they rare weapons or gems which you can sell or use. Back floors however are not the only thing you need a key floor, to advance to the next floor and in certain instances to get to a certain part of the main floor you need to find a key, the key to the next floor is always held by an enemy, though the key for the other parts of the floor can only be found in treasure chests back floor keys can occasionally be found in chests as well and at one point in the game be bought. The main point of the dungeon crawl though is to collect the Atla which are large orbs containing things like people, houses, and various odd and ends. You seek to collect all these so that you can rebuild whichever town you are currently in at the time, though I’ll talk about that later.

It really makes you wonder how a peaceful village manages to remain peaceful with a dungeon of horrible murderous monsters living right on the edge of it.

Another important part of dungeons is quick time events, typically each dungeon in the game has at least one quick time event where you need to press buttons as they appear on screen, these can be frustrating at first but once you develop a sense of rhythm for them they become immensely easier.

Not Pictured: My rage at making a mistake for the third time and dying.

Now story in this game comes at whatever pacing you so choose, as a majority of the story happens as a result of either:

1. Completing a Dungeon
   
2. or Completing a persons house/shack/stand/totem pole

Upon completing either of those a story event will generally follow. The actual overarching plot to the game is fairly fanciful and is ultimately solid enough, however the writing for the game has moments where it becomes incredibly subpar though on the whole it doesn’t detract from the overall game. The writing has it’s moments where it is honestly funny…

I get the feeling that they aren’t exactly teenagers with attitude.

Actually I take that back, this game has moments where it’s downright hilarious, I have on my hard drive a LOT of absolutely hilarious screenshots showing how amazingly funny and/or awful this games writing can be at times. Why one of my favorite moments happens while you are in Queen's and you are attempting to get a Psychic to tell you the future.
Now for the weapon building mechanic, now throughout the game you do not gain levels in the traditional sense where killing an enemy grants you experience points, instead every time you slay an enemy your weapon gains “Abs”…

Um…

These “abs” are the experience your weapons accrue, once a weapons abs are maxed out you can upgrade it. One of the more interesting parts of this is that you can equip to your weapon “attachments” which will increase certain stats or effectiveness upon a certain type of enemy. Once a weapon has been upgraded the necessary amount of times and has had its stats increased to a certain point you are presented with the option of building up a weapon into a much stronger weapon essentially allowing you to continuously evolve a certain weapon over and over again without ever really needing to change to another (though you will want to as the best weapon in the game can only be acquired by training up a specific sword). Another nifty aspect of the weapon building mechanic is that once a weapon has been upgraded to level 5 you are presented with the option of “Status Breaking” it, this would allow you to turn it into an attachment which would retain around 60% of the weapons original stats that you are able to slap onto any particular weapon. Also certain weapons have abilities which give you bonuses or can be hindrances, they are transferrable through Status Breaking so combining the best abilities into a weapon is a good way to get ahead in this game.

I wonder if it’s made of real bone?

Admittedly I’m no fan of fishing and this is probably one of the least explored mechanics of the game for me, so bear with me. In Dark Cloud you will periodically come across bodies of water and after you gain your fishing rod you are able to fish in these bodies of water using whatever bait you find or purchase. Whenever you catch a fish you gain points for it which you can exchange for prizes, certain fish are worth more points then others and specific bait can attract high point fish (poison apples, trust me). Fishing is essentially the money farming aspect of the game as once you figure out the best bait and location to fish you will be able to hook high pointers that you can exchange for prizes you can immediately sell. Oh, there is also a fish that tells you how to disarm any chest once you’ve caught it.

Man I hate fish, even in video game form.

Now for the most important facet of the game, the balls, the Atla are essentially Dark Clouds version of Legos and they are the building blocks required to rebuild the destroyed locale. They are found in the dungeons and it’s up to you to put them back together once you reach the surface again.

This must be how god feels.

Upon completion of any particular structure you are tasked with placing it in a spot the resident of it wants, which can be quite hard or quite easy depending on the person. You are also treated to events once you complete a place, some of which are hilarious, some traumatizing, all of them end in you receiving an item.

Toan can never unsee this.

Rebuilding towns is the main part of the game which is essentially dragging and dropping until everyone is happy. Lets review shall we?

Dungeon –> Atla –> Build structure –> Place Structure –> Drag and drop until all people are happy –> Event –> Profit.

Now there isn’t much to say about graphics being that this is an early PS2 game so I won’t dwell on them, however I will admit that the characters in the game are incredibly expressive which in my book is a plus. The games music is subpar and does a good job of being background music but is by no means stand-outish enough to really get stuck in your head.

I honestly feel sorry for him at certain points.

Dark Cloud in this reviewers humble opinion is an absolutely worthwhile RPG, it has lots of content, a great story, and it has tight controls (they are perfect and I feel no need to delve deeper into the topic). There are some quick time events which can be frustrating but over all the game is great and worth purchasing.

Fun fact: This game is by Level-5, you know those guys who made Professor Layton.

Luke this review reminds me of a puzzle!

Onimusha: Warlords

Onimusha Warlords is one of those games for the PlayStation 2 that flies off the shelves quickly at launch and then finds itself at the bottom of the bargain bin later. Onimusha Warlords was an early PS2 title released way back in (insert spooky voice) 2001. The game originally received fairly favorable reviews in the 8/10 margin and sold over (insert spooky voice here as well) two million copies worldwide. Onimusha despite its original favorable ratings over time began to feel dated to most people. A lot of people compare it to Resident Evil and some go as far as to say the game is Resident Evil only with Samurai instead of S.T.A.R.S.

D̴̬̞̲͈̰̿̇ͩ͋̾̆͞i͙͔̣̙͉̺͖̾ͪ͒̽̅d̼̖̘͚͕̣͎̻̑͗̈́͑̏́ͩ̇́ ̲̫̼̖͔̖̐͑̀̀̎ͫ̚s̜͍͍͔̑̃̐ͨͬͅo͌͂ͩ̎̀҉̵̲͈m̷͈̪̳͔͖̝̼̒ͅe̵̟͖̯̬͔ͬͥ̏̋͑̿̄͂ọ̶̮̼̖̫͒ͤ̏͠ň̤͉̻̿̓̈͋ͅͅe̊̒̾̒͐͌͠͝҉͔̥ ̷̷͉̤̭̻͆̄͋̚ş̛̰̮̙̺̺͐ͨ͞ͅa̢͓̤̘͖̘͓̥ͩy̵͇̤̳̜̘̱̳̟̞͛͒̄̍̔͗ ̦̘̟ͥ̉ͪͭ̕S͈͕͋̿̉̎ͥ̊̿̀̕.ͯ̎̈͂̐̏͏̰͙̦̜T̨̪͉̲̱ͬ͐͗̈́͋̀ͭ̉.̢̺͙͙̙̥̍ͣ͌A̲̗̞̭̦͈̰̳̝̾̈́̇̾̇̏̊̀.̸̬̟̊̉̓͢͝Ṙ͎̞̗̐͛̉ͬ͑͑̇ͨ̀.̳͓͓͉̠̩̜̺̑ͦ̊͟S̴̐̎ͬ́҉͈̫̥̥͇̘̺̤?̛̰̣͕̮͈̭̻̈̅͡

Onimusha and Resident Evil do share similar qualities though, that is undeniable, they both are survival horror games and they both use the same static camera angle which makes killing your enemies occasionally awkward. That’s about where the similarities end.

Onimusha takes place in the late 1500’s where you play as Samanosuke Akechi of the Akechi Clan, who is currently at war with the Oda. For those who are not familiar with history, Nobunaga Oda had a general who he trusted greatly, his name was Mitsuhide Akechi, one day he up and decided to betray Nobunaga and he ambushed him in Okehazama. This game takes place after this event, however Mitsuhide is captured and killed in the battle and Nobunaga is shot in the throat instead of being forced to commit to suicide. However that isn’t the end for Nobunaga as he mysteriously comes back to life to wreak his revenge on the Akechi clan. However it isn’t just soldiers Nobunaga employs, demons have sprung up all around the Akechi territory and are slaughtering everyone.

Samanosuke receives a letter that is several weeks old as he returns to Japan after a journey of discovery, the letter is a plea from his cousin to come and save her from what she believes to be some creature which has been stealing away all the servants and soldiers from around the castle. Samanosuke transforms and rolls out o go and save her with his ninja friend who is possibly the worst ninja ever. Seriously she wears orange, orange!

You know what, no she’s way better then that.

The game focuses around the main character who is attempting to save his cousin and prevent Nobunaga and his demon army from taking over the world. You adventure around the castle searching for Yuki and battle your way through hordes of demons while utilizing the power of the Ogre’s (Oni in the original Japanese version and in subsequent sequels). Aforementioned Ogre’s give you the power to destroy the demons, along with some nifty elemental swords you can unlock along the way.

Now this game has tankish controls similar to that of resident evil where you have to turn before you can go forward, once you get used to it the controls things will start to get easier (assuming you haven’t already mastered them after years of playing Resident Evil games). Samanosuke has three types of weapons he can use throughout the game, his trusty Katana (and its variants), a bow and arrows, and finally a rifle each of these has their own uses but for the most part you will spend the game using your sword.

The sword controls are fairly easy to learn and once you get the hang of them you can eventually one-hit kill any minor enemy. At your disposal you have a regular slashing combo, a downward stab for enemies that have fallen to instantly kills them, and finally a quick time move called Isshu which allows you to instantly kill any minor enemy attacking you by pressing the attack button right before the enemy hits you; at your disposal is also a guard which blocks attacks coming at you from any side, guard often, trust me, this game doesn’t play around. Oh, you also have a kick, this kick can be used to attempt to break guards and knock enemies over.

You can upgrade them as well.

Naturally being that this is a survival horror game, health pick ups and ammo for your non-sword weapons are incredibly scarce, so not getting hit is very important as its one of the few ways you can avoid dying. Enemies in this game do not play around, they can guard, and they will attempt to swarm you and murder you.

They seem to have an odd sense of fashion.

Iconic of any Capcom survival horror game this game has both puzzles and fetch quest. The puzzles come in the flavor of timed puzzles like trying to avoid being burned alive by columns of fire while exiting a room, and treasure puzzles which involve rotating numbers so they are in order, and ones that involve knowing symbols and inputting the right ones. Fetch quests though make up the largest amount of the game though as you will wind up running from one side of the castle to the other looking for the key to the next door, or the silver plate you need to open the door to get the golden plate.

Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

One thing to note about this game, is that the game was originally slated for being released on the original PlayStation but due to the PS2’s release being so close and the game being only 50% done at the time the original game was scrapped and it was instead redone for the PS2. The graphics for the game are not the greatest but for the time in which it was released and compared to other games released at the beginning of the PS2’s lifetime Onimusha has great graphics. Though compared to later games they are fairly shoddy. The game utilizes static backgrounds like that of the early resident evil games, which are fairly attractive compared to the sprites.

Onimusha is one of my favorite games for my PS2 and one of those reasons is that the soundtrack for the game was composed by a deaf composer, soak that in for a second.

I bet his hair was pretty rockin’

Onimusha is a fairly inexpensive game no matter where you look, and well worth the price. The game is fairly short, it can probably be beaten in anywhere from 4-16 hours; amount of time to play the game isn’t a negative factor as the game has a lot of unlockables which can typically only be attained through repeated playing of the game. So go to your nearest lukigames and pick up a copy of the game, if you are a fan of survival horror of games reminiscent of Resident Evil this is the game for you. Oh and just so you know it has two sequels! Which means once you’re done with this you should grab those as well!

Nobunaga’s Ambition: Iron Triangle

 

World domination for ages 10+

Nobunaga’s Ambition: Iron Triangle is the twelfth installment in the Nobunaga’s Ambition series released in America by Koei (There are an innumerable amount of them in Japan though). Its set during the Sengoku Era of Japan where your main objective is the unification of Japan through either diplomacy or war. The game uses a different formula than the Romance of the Three Kingdom games, where instead of operating on a turn based system you alternate between two phases; Planning and Active. The game also focuses heavily on technological development over mere military conquest as having the best technology can easily give you the advantage in battle. The game has many events that come in the form of stills and text, there are quite a few of them (both generic and historical) and they require certain requirements to be met just as in Romance of the Three Kingdoms. The Character Creation System is similar to that of Romance of the Three Kingdoms so fans of the series won’t find it to hard to jump right into character creation.

Now being that this is a historical simulation game, the plot and story are null. You spend the game playing as a Daimyo of your choosing and you can choose to either cause history to take its course your you can forge your own history. I won’t talk about the history of 16th century Japan (as there is a lot of it), but instead I will point out that the game makes playing as Oda Nobunaga the main point of the game. By playing as the Oda you will view the most story events and will unlock the most things. Don’t think that by not playing the Oda you won’t see story events, every single Diamyo has at least a few events to their respective kingdom that you can view. So viewing them all is a treat in itself and adds quite a bit of replay value.

Now lets start talking about gameplay; the Planning and Active Phases. The game is essentially Real Time as during the active phase everything occurs happen, such as battles, things being built, events, month changes, season changes, weather, etc. You switch between these phases to perform actions. Most of the actions you will select during the planning phase and during the active phase will act out. An example of this is building, you select a plot of land and thing to build and then during the active phase it builds itself.

Seen here is progress!

You switch between these two phases to perform your various actions and they are essentially the core of the entire game.

Technology is a key factor in this game and easily determines who will come out on top. Technology in the game ranges from the invention, use, and evolution of Muskets to additions to your castle and new agricultural practices. Your technological prowess is increased through research by officers who are proficient in that field (i.e. Cavalry, Infantry, Civil, etc.). Certain clans are naturally proficient in certain technologies, some examples are Nobunaga’s affinity for Muskets and Castles, Ieyasu Tokugawa’s affinity for spears, and Shingen Takeda’s affinity for Horses. These clan specialties will eventually gain you special technologies exclusive to them, such as Mikawa Spirit which makes Infantry immune to mislead and rumor tactics, and allows troops to fight with zero morale.

 

Infantry God mode

Technology is very important for both offense and defense as developing your weapons can easily give you an edge in a battle where you might have fewer troops, and developing your castle and its defenses can make what may have once been nothing but a small base into a nearly impregnable fortress. These things usually determine the outcome of a battle. Outside of battle developing your Civil technologies will boost your economy greatly as you can increase production of food and gold, and even make your people immune to plagues.

Or pimp out your castle.

The battles take place on a giant Over world map of Japan which is dotted with mountains, rivers, and plains. Your troops move across the plains during the active phase and you can issue commands to them during both phases. Your units are little masses of troops that generally look like whatever type of unit you chose them to be, Cavalry units will look like people on horses, Musket Units will look like people holding guns, etc. In this game there is no superior unit, but early in the game Muskets are quite powerful but very very slow and easy targets for Cavalry. Over the time as technology evolves units become more powerful as they gain bonuses to both attack and defense and sometimes even range depending on if it’s a ranged unit. Each unit has an advantage against another, kind of like a weapon triangle but much larger, a Heptagon if you will. Though for simplicities sake we’ll keep it to attacking units and leave buildings out of the equations.

Infantry<Cavalry<Musket/Bows<Infantry

Bows and Muskets can be used interchangeably for the sake of argument. Thus leaving us with a triangle. A majority of battles in the game will be to either defend, or attack a base(castle/port). Attacking battles give you three options for conquering whatever it is you want to conquer;

1. You can surround a base and wait until the bases Morale drops to zero and they give up.

2. You can attack the base until its walls are destroyed and then fight the soldiers inside.

3. You can attack the soldiers inside through ranged attacks.

Pictured above are several units surrounding the Shimazu’s Castle.

Defending Is the reverse of attacking in this game as you will avoid allowing the computer from doing either of those three things using the tactics Rumor, Mislead, and Raid along with fielding your own units.

Rumor – Lowers units morale and possibly confuses unit

Mislead – Makes unit retreat

Raid – Have a unit ambush an opposing unit confusing it

These three tactics are very important and can easily cripple a large attack force. Remember them.

Pictured above is the legendary scene in which Nobunaga Oda ambushes and Kills Yoshimoto Imagawa.

Through these tactics you can turn around most sieges. You can also build turrets to attack enemy units that enter your territory, they work great when set up down a narrow path.

The game has a diplomacy system similar to that of Romance of the Three Kingdoms where you can make alliances, force enemies to surrender to you, extort from enemies, and annul alliances. Most of these are self explanatory but the alliance system has a few quirks. Unlike most strategy games where when you offer an alliance to someone they either can accept or deny it, however in this game they can demand money, a hostage, or even a daughter to one of your generals. This give and take system is very prevalent and will be something critical to understand when you are playing the game, as very rarely will anyone give anything for free, even your allies. This same system is in place for negotiating technologies with other clans as they can demand money, your daughter, or a technology of your own as payment for theirs.

I don’t think allies should be so reluctant to do something for you. . .

Events as mentioned before are stills which explain something that is occurring, they come in a variety of flavors, from the death of an officer, to Nobunaga’ assassination. You unlock them by fulfilling certain requirements like conquering the country after attaining the rank of Regent, or ambushing Yoshimoto Imigawa.

The character Creation system allows you to make your own officers who can either serve an existing Daimyo or they can be Ronin and be recruited later. Unfortunately you can not make characters Daimyo from the get-go you have to have the previous Daimyo of a territory retire and set your CO(Created Officer) as Daimyo. The character creation is fairly in depth as it lets you select your occupation from anything as low as Peasant to as high as a Noble or even the shadowy Ninja. You can also set their religious preferences from the three major religions at the time Ikko, Buddhism, and Christianity, or you can choose not to affiliate with either of them. Another interesting feature is the capacity to specify the force your character likes the best and the base in which they will pop up in. The stats setting is fairly open where you can set your Leadership, Valor, intelligence, and Political ability anywhere between 1 and 120. Along with stats you get to select your tactics which is similar to that of Romance of the Three Kingdoms. In this game you can only set each character to have one Friend and only One Enemy and this will greatly effect how that particular character perceives those two.

Now the games graphics are all beautifully 3D and you can easily tell that a great deal of detail was put into the building of each area. This is obviously different from the cell-shaded look that the ROTK series went for, and in my opinion is the most visually appealing of the two. The musically score is stunning as the soundtrack is Orchestrated entirely using Japanese instruments (just like how the ROTK games had Chinese instruments). The game is incredibly aesthetically appealing.

This is a great game for any strategy or history buff as it stays mostly true to what happened during the Sengoku Era and the rise of the Samurai Class in Japan. It also allows you to play as any clan who existed during the time, and in two fictional scenarios it allows you to play as clans that existed prior to the Sengoku Era. This is a fine game and is worth a look if you enjoy playing strategy games, or if you are a fan of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms series. In my opinion if you prefer strategy games that involve more micromanagement and less RPG aspects, this game is definitely worth it.

For those who are TL;DR, This is a strategy game with lots of depth, if you are interested in this, buy it.

Japan in the 16th Century! But wait what's that in the lower right corner?

All picture credits go to IGN

Romance of the Three Kingdoms XI Review

Pictures will be from both versions.
Romance of the Three Kingdoms XI is the most recent member of the ROTK family to be released in the United States. It is the eleventh installment in this series, and is a return to the pure turn based strategy element the series was founded on after the tenth games foray into RPG territory. Two versions of this game were released, one for the PS2 and another for the PC, each version has subtle differences but nothings major; the biggest difference is the menu layout and the ability to request reinforcements from your allies. Of the series of ROTK games this one offers the most in historical events as you can see a plethora of the more important events from the book series in this game so long as you meet certain requirements such as having certain characters in a certain city or being Cao Cao and conquering all of Huabei (hint hint).
For those who are only hearing of this game for the first time let me explain a bit about what its based off of and its particular timeline. Romance of the Three Kingdoms is a novel which chronicles what transpires during the later days of the Han dynasty up to its eventual collapse and China’s reunification under the Jin Dynasty. The novel itself was written by Luo Guanzhong who was a traveling scholar collecting various regional stories and historical records to write this novel. Upon completion of the book (which at the time was just a pile of manuscripts) Luo Guanzhong disappeared. The novel became insanely popular over the course of a short time and to this day its widely read in Asian countries and has spawned numerous games, movies, television shows, stage dramas, and even animes.

I die a little every time I look at this.

You have the capacity to play as any historical warlord in this game, but unlike in the tenth and eighth games you are only able to play as the Ruler of any particular force. The game takes place on a giant cel-shaded map of China (a really pretty one at that)  where you will at any point in time control some amount of cities which will act as your bases. The map is covered in a grid of squares and it is on these squares that units move/battle and facilities are built. This allows for freedom of movement and battles and streamlines the gameplay allowing for actions to be done by simply moving to the point of the map where you want to perform said action, such as knocking boulders down a hill and onto some enemy units.

I wonder how much xp they’ll get for slaying that boulder.

Aside from battling you also build up your economy from this map; this is done by building markets and farm on special plots set aside for each city. To defend yourself you will need to build a recruitment center and build smiths and ranch's to create the equipment you need to start an army, otherwise you’ll be left with nothing to defend yourself from bandits and other warlords. Finding a balance between defense and revenue is incredibly important and can play an important role in how well you’ll succeed. There are certain cities which have very little room for economic growth and if you don’t expand early on will make it impossible to keep up with more prestigious warlords. These special squares are dirt colored and on them your empire stands, as what you build upon them will generally determine how well you will do.
Now for a brief overview of what you can build on these plots and their effects on your city:

• Market: increases revenue (amount varies based on location)
• Farm: Increases Harvest (amount varies based on location)
• Barracks: Recruits Soldiers
• Smith: Creates Weapons
• Ranch: Rustles up some horses
• Workshop: Builds siege weapons
• Shipyard: Builds Warships
• Granary: Increases productivity of all Farms in a 1 square radius by 1.5
• Mint:Increases productivity of all Markets in a 1 square radius by 1.5

So as you can see when provided with a set number of squares to build your cities economy upon you need to really think about the placement of these considering the average amount of plots you get for building are about 10-12. Placement is very important in this game, also the order in which you prioritize the building of these is important; if for instance you are surrounded by other warlords and you choose to build up your money and food without paying heed to your defense you may wind up being attacked from all sides by warlords looking to suck up your resources and officers. So its generally important to build a barrack first.

This might happen if you don’t.

Now aside from just building domestic things like markets and barracks you have the ability to build independent facilities to aid you in the defense of your territories. These facilities are the corner stone for defending yourself when you are faced with enemies that are numerous and stronger than you (as they may often be). These facilities range from stone walls to morale boosting drum platforms. These can only be placed as close as three squares from each other so strategy is key with these as well. A very common strategy is to try to bottleneck your opponent with archer turrets and place a camp in on the end to force your opponent to fight a battle against your defense boosted unit while being shot at every turn by your turrets.

A good example of forcing your opponents to take a route where they will be either hindered or shot at.
Now lets look at these military facilities:

• Archer Turret: Fires at opponents up to three spaces away every turn
• Wall: A wall, it blocks paths.
• Camp: Defense multiplied by 2 and units use less food when they are around it.
• Embers: Sets all squares with 1 space of it on fire.
• Fireball: Rolls a six square line of fire.
• Drum Platform: Increases attack power of all units within 2 squares by 2x
• Band platform: Increases will (varies)

Utilization of these is quite important.
Building things isn’t the only part of this game with a lot of depth, the battle system also has a great deal of depth to it; however before we get to that we need to explain how characters work. All characters in this game have stats, these stats determine how good a character is at a certain action, they also dictate how well they will function when performing said action. Each characters stats are broken down into; Leadership, War, Intelligence, Politics, and Charisma. Proficiency in certain stats will usually determine what the character will be doing, a high War character will fight a lot, a high politics character will perform diplomacy, and a high charisma character will recruit lots of soldiers. Along with these stats are Aptitudes which dictate how well that officer is with certain types of armaments ranging from spears to ships. The level of Aptitude is shown through a scale of S through C with S being the highest and C being the lowest. Finally a majority of characters have “Skills” there are to many of them to talk about but they provide beneficial effects to whatever area it is they specialize in.
Now for some pictorial examples: (Click to make larger)


As you can see stats are different for different characters and this directly correlates to their overall ability.
Now for the battle system, seeing as battles all take place on the large map it allows for a great deal of strategic freedom. You can set up ambushes, build traps, and easily manage both your fights and your domestics with ease. There are quite a few different types of units there are regular units which use weapons, siege units, transport units, and naval units. Each type has its own subcategories, but the most important is the regular units which will make up your core fighting force. They come in four flavors, Spears, Pikes, Bows, and Horses and form a weapon triangle of sorts which goes like this;

• Pikes<Horse<Spears<Pikes
• And Bows are weak to everything but have a range of two spaces and sometimes three if the character has a certain skill.

All those stats I was talking about earlier? Yeah they affect this. Leadership and War determine how powerful the unit is and intelligence determines how easily they will fall for traps and ploys.
Hint: Only a fool sends a low intelligent unit by itself.
Aside from regular attacks you have at your disposal a number of tactics unique to the type of unit which you are attacking with, these tactics range in cost and power. Tactics cost willpower which is something you build up at your city by training your troops or by hanging around band towers. These tactics can turn the tide of a battle when used correctly as some of them have effects such as setting a unit on fire or confusing them. Another nifty thing is the ability to have any unit challenge an opposing unit to a duel, though the opponent reserves the right to deny it they can sometimes be forced which brings us to the duel system. . .

Don’t mess with him, he’s got 100 War.

The duel system is fairly simple and is mostly determined by a characters War stat. Though when equipped with items (which are randomly found) like throwing knives or bows one can easily turn the tides of a duel. In a duel you are given several options, Attack, Defense, Spirit, and Fury. They work like this, Attack just has the character attack regularly, while defense that the character focus on defense, spirit raises his spirit gauge which lets him use special moves, and fury give him a 1/10 chance of executing a super strong combo. As fun as they same Duels won’t happen that often, however if you do get one to occur and you win you will completely eliminate the opposing unit and capture the enemy general, if you lose the same thing happens to you.
There is also a diplomacy system in place which determines your relations with other warlords and your ability to get ceasefires, coalitions, and alliances. You perform diplomacy from your city and it is an absolute requirement that you use someone with high Intelligence and Politics in these actions, otherwise they will almost always fail. Generally you will just select an option and then send an envoy and some money and that will be all, though sometimes when your case doesn’t seem all that compelling the warlords strategist will request a debate with your envoy. . .

A tale of swords and souls eternally retold. . .

Debates are just like duels in that they are determined almost entirely by the stats, though personality can also play a role in them. Debates are fought using little option cards you are dispensed and your objective is to throw the highest level version of whatever card is being requested by the orb in the center of the screen. The person with the highest level of that card deal damage to his opponent. There are three standard types of cards, Fact, Logic, and Time, there is no weapon triangle to this as its all about having the highest level if whatever is being called for. There are also special cards which can either deal damage or diffuse an opponents rage mode; now here's where personality comes in as Rage mode is determined by the personality of the person, for instance a person with a cool personality will never go into rage mode, while a timid person will flip out.
Now that we’ve talked about all these fun things like debates and battles I think its about time we talked about the Character Creation System in this game. Now the CCS of this game isn’t all that different from its predecessors aside from allows you the option to choose what skills you want. So here’s a run down of it in mostly picture form. . . (click to enlarge)
You can set the basic things such as name, age, and gender along with who the person is married to and who the like and hate.
 
You can also set their stats, aptitudes, and special skill.

You can also adjust most every facet of their personality which will determine how they view things and interact with other people.

The CCS system allows for a decent amount of customization while remaining incredibly simplistic in form.
This game also sports an incredibly hand (and quite hilarious) tutorial mode which teaches you how to play the game by setting you up in scenarios and asking you to complete objectives. As extra incentive you unlock bonus officers for completing it. The tutorial mode teaches you the basics of building your economy, how to duel, and even how to debate properly. This mode is by far the most important as even fans of the series will need a bit of help with the major facelift this game has given the series.

 

Liu Bei the great!

The writing for this game is really good, though being that this is based off a book, a majority of the jokes in it are lost on people who haven’t read the novel. Jokes aside though this game sports two fun modes of play, a free campaign mode, and a preset mode. The free campaign mode allows you to choose any scenario from the incite of the Yellow Turbans to Shu’s last Hurrah and gives you the ability to either create your own army or to play as an established force. The preset mode only allows you to play as an established force and gives you a set objective such as capturing a certain location, or not dying for a period of time. Campaign mode has the most replay value being that its open and lets you play as anyone and allows for endless possibilities for scenarios and gives you the capability to shape history with your own hands.

Yes, yes please give me your ideas so I might plot to take over the world bwahahahahaha!

Romance of the Three Kingdoms XI is by far one of the best installments in the series where it returned to its roots and both renewed and improved upon it. The game has many small innovations such as a mini map which constantly tells you what's going on but allows you to quickly jump to another location to investigate something. It also has a beautiful musical score orchestrated using zithers and other classical Chinese instruments which is both soothing and enjoyable to listen to. However despite the games incredible depth and great writing its obviously not for everyone. This game is first and foremost a strategy game, meaning that it requires patience and the willingness to constantly think critically. The game is also a historical strategy game based on a novel, meaning that for the most part a lot of what is happening will be of no interest to non-fans. This is an amazing strategy game, but is more for a niche audience then it is for everyone.