Deus Ex: Human Revolution (PS3, Xbox 360, Wii U, PC/OSX)

I am in love with that coat.

TL;DR: Deus Ex Human Revolution is worth buying if you like Action RPG’s and is pretty cheap.

Some of the greatest RPG's of all time came out of Square during its early days such as Chrono Trigger, Super Mario RPG, and Final Fantasy 6. Then the dark days came. Square experienced a drought in creativity after the release of the wildly popular FFVII which started the now overused trope of the mopey emo-hero. Some Square games gave good reason for why the hero should be Mopey (Lost Odyssey) but most just used the angsty hero as a way to create character depth in a shallow character. However just as Square fans started to wonder if the company was even remotely capable of putting out any sort of good AAA game Deus Ex: Human Revolution hit shelves.

I’m not subtle enough about my loathing of FFVII.

Lets be honest with ourselves, its unlikely that you've heard of the Deus Ex series before and that's totally okay. The Deus Ex series up until Human Revolution was only ever released on the Computer, a platform that never had much in the way of advertising in the pre-internet age. Human Revolution is a prequel to the entire Deus Ex series taking place before advanced prosthetics (called Augmentations in the game), were wildly common place. Ethical and Moral questions are posed over the course of the game about what it means to be human in an age where anyone can easily trade in their old fleshy bits for steam-punk robo ones. This is a naturally dividing issue within the game as two major opposing factions surround the issue one which believes the advancement of prosthetics can only help while others believe its unnatural and only seeks to destroy what it means to be human... naturally this wouldn't be complete without worldwide conspiracies involving mega-corporations and misinformation spread throughout the media.

And this mostly happens in Detroit…

Human Revolution plays like every other over the shoulder action game released in the past decade. Standardization plays heavily in its favor as it minimizes how much time players need to spend on tutorials, a victory for everyone. The controls are literally perfect, when I was playing the first thing I noticed was how every button served a purpose and spent at least half of my game time cycling through the hold-out button and the holster button just because I liked the sound the tazer makes when whipping it out.

 

Okay so the controls are great but who cares about that if the actual content of the game doesn't utilize those great controls? Well let me tell you what good sir... ma'am... sa'am? Deus Ex Human Revolution combines the stealth aspects of the Metal Gear Solid games, the Espionage Aspects of Hitman, and the hacking aspects of the later Fallout games. AND IT WORKS! The thing that consistently amazes me to this very moment was how well all these features seamlessly were combined in this game. So Adam Jenson, the main character, he's got stats that you can toss points into that allow him to do some things better then others and allow you to customize him to suit your play style. Say you have to break into a secret government facility, well you can choose to sneak in innocuously by Solid Snaking your way past the guards, or using you 733t hax0r skillz to turn all the automated forces to your side and casually walk in while the guards are busy or distracted, the final method is for your inner sociopath where you can build Jenson up to be a murder machine that can shoot bombs out of his arms and eat bullets as if they were a typical breakfast. Oh did I forget to mention that you can go through the entire game without killing anyone? Yeah, thats an option. You can defeat all enemies (sans boss characters) with non-lethal takedowns or non-lethal weapons, which is perfect for stealth runs. Basically:

• Sneaking is pretty typical, you avoid cones of sight ala MGS and try not to make noise. You can also take alternate hidden routes to objectives like sewers or air ducts. If you encounter enemies you can use non-lethal take downs or non-lethal weapons to knock out enemies.

• Hacking is very strategy and luck based where you try to capture nodes without being detected by the computers system. The hacking system is leveled and gets harder as the game progresses so if you plan on playing this way you'll want to pool a good number of points in it.

• Murder-Time Fun-Time, you like murder? Well you can do that, a lot, with guns, or a sword arm thing.

Like I mentioned you play as Adam Jenson, the head of security guard for Sarif Industries, who wind up having to be heavily augmented after most of his body is destroyed during a terrorist attack. The game is semi-open world where you are introduced to large sprawling hub worlds which have side-quests and many opportunists to obtain background information that explains the mysteries surrounding the attack and Adam himself. A good example is Detroit, the starting hub, once you are dropped off in it you can quickly run around and start working on a sting for a prostitute cop, get a guy to lose his job, or just destroy entire gangs for the hell of it. Besides just doing side quests you are presented with many choices throughout the game which shape Jenson's character and his reactions for later quests which is pretty cool and generally makes your experience somewhat unique as one player may make Jenson a sociopath, or a literal Saint who selflessly gives and gives with no expectation of return. You get to visit quite a few hub worlds multiple times but each time you leave one you lose access to those side quests permanently which sucks mightily as I didn't realize this on my first play-through and missed a bunch of them. If there is anything I particularly hated about the whole “hub world” thing was the fact that you don't get the option to revisit them when you want, which stands as a reminder that the game is very linear at its core even though it presents you with other avenues of enjoyment outside the main quest. No matter how far out you travel you inevitably come to a wall that forces you to return to the main quest.

I can gush about Deus Ex Human Revolution for hours, it has great story, great gameplay, and really well made environments with high levels of detail which resonated very well with my inner child. I highly recommend Deus Ex for anyone who likes Action RPG's with optional Stealth Elements. Its story will very easily keep you on the edge of your seat with its many twists and turns and with how much your own choices and actions affect the world and Jenson himself. There are many versions of the game available, but the definitive version is the Directors Cut which includes “The Missing Link” DLC which explains the events of a time skip that occurs during the main story, and is pretty fun as stand alone story. By the way, you can shoot hoops, nuff’ said.

Dragon Quest IX: Sentinel of the Starry Skies (DS)

Dragon Quest IX Sentinel of the Starry Skies is, or rather was, incredibly revolutionary when it came out a few years ago as it was the first game for the Nintendo DS to have a sort of proto-spotpass mechanic where you could leave your game on and wander around your town or city “Canvassing for Guests” which can net you treasure maps, friend codes, and even rare items! In Japan this feature was so popular and so widely used it set a world record for the most amount of people playing a game over local wireless; despite the obvious success of the feature in Japan it apparently hasn’t been nearly as successful in the west due to lower population densities and the fact that the Dragon Warrior series has always been fairly niche in west. Gamestop, Bestbuy, and several other retailers setup events to remedy the problem which yielded mild success. Dragon Quest IX isn’t a one trick pony it not only boasts one unique feature it also has local and online multiplayer where you and up to three other people can wander around the entire world completely separate from one another or all together, to wrap it all up in a nice big bow the game also boasts enough features to keep you satisfied for up to 700+ hours going through the story, the post-story, exploring the world, getting all the items, and getting to know all the people of the world.

That shit be crazy.

The story of Dragon Quest IX Sentinel of the Starry Skies goes like this: You are a sentinel who’s job it is to protect a small town named Angel Falls in the Protectorate (the place where all the humans live). One day after returning the Observatory after looking after the protectorate tradgy strikes upon offering your prayers to Yggdrasil the Observatory is assaulted by many beams of light causing you and many other Sentinels to fall to the Protectorate. You come to in Angel Falls and realize that your wings are missing from there you travel the breadth of the world making friends, battling evil, and rekindling an ancient love all in order to protect the people of the protectorate.

And hanging out in inns!

Full disclosure, this game did nothing but impress me. The writing for the game is hilarious with a great use of puns and nods to existing things (like when you need to find the Encyclopedia Gittanica). As you travel the world you’ll find that not every person speaks the same as there are regional dialects and colloquialisms which makes speaking to NPC’s much more interesting then in most games. The games story is loads of fun as I found myself enjoying the many characters and twists (spoilers?) once you’ve beaten the story some of the story characters can be recruited as actual party members for exploring the post game world. I’ve mentioned the word "Post” affixed to a few words and that’s because after you beat the story the game still has hundreds of in-depth quests you can pursue which expand on history of the world, character backgrounds, or yield awesome loot.

Spikes are heroic right?

Anyone who is familiar with the Dragon Warrior franchise probably knows it best as that series where turn-based battles are all done from a first person view with enemies that have very silly names. Well Dragon Quest IX has all the silly names but none of that first person nonsense, now battles are all happen in the third dimension but retain the turn-based system. Another dropped feature was the archaic random battle feature most RPG’s still cling to as all enemies are visible in the overworld and dungeons when you are exploring and can be avoided (assuming they don’t spot you) by going around them or using a skill or item to make you temporarily invisible. In multiplayer each individual player can engage in and end battles on their own separate of other players they can also each explore different parts of the world and towns at whim which is a pretty great feature.

I mentioned earlier that the game has over 700 hours of content, the main story is about 40+ hours and the rest is side quests, post-game story quests, and item quests. If anything when you play Dragon Quest IX you at no point will be wanting for something to do as quests and adventure almost literarily ooze out of the cartridge itself. Not only is there much adventure to be had but the world is fairly open-ended, once you get past the first couple of missions you’ll be free to explore the world at your leisure and the world opens up even more over time as you get spells and items that will help you explore.

And there are King Slimes!

One key feature that I have neglected to mention was the character creation. Its fairly varied and the designs are done by Akira Toriyama who you may know from his work on DragonBall, Chrono Trigger, and Blue Dragon so the designs will look fairly similar to things you may have seen if you have played any game he’s watched or watched the animes he’s worked on.

Obviously the protagonists are Saiyans, or Sun Wukong…

You can mess around with your characters height, gender, hair and face to make the hero you’ve always wished you could be, you can also do this with your companions as you can completely design them to look however you want them to and you get to even pick their starting class. Although these aren’t Bethesda level customization features they are good enough that you can create for yourself a unique set of heroes to save the world with. All equipment also appears on the characters which means you can also alter all of a characters equipment to change their appearance to look however goofy or cool you want them to be and with the large quantities of clothing and armor options then are tons of potential looks.

Or you can leave them in pleb gear and make them all pack mules while real heroes adventure.

Dragon Quest IX is by far one of the best multiplayer RPG’s I’ve played in a while and I highly recommend it to anyone who wants not only a game with loads of story and content but for those looking for a game to play with friends (they’ll need copies of the game too). At no point in my time playing this game was a disappointed the difficulty scaling, the humor, and the story all kept me engaged straight to the end and then some.  Pick yourself up a copy, you won’t regret it.

Soul Blazer (SNES)

Click here to pick up your copy!

Full disclosure: when I was younger - I didn't care much for standard role playing games. Growing up, my only real experience with RPGs was playing over at my friends' houses. Typically, they would have another buddy already over there and they both would be huddled around the Super NES with controllers in-hand trying to blast through Final Fantasy II or III (or Final Fantasy IV and VI in Japan.) Which usually meant I had to patiently wait around near-silent for a few hours while they leveled up, combined magic, and screamed at the screen. Meanwhile, all I wanted to do was rip into Mortal Kombat a few times before I had to go home again. Outside of Faxanadu and Castlevania II - I didn't really own games with more than mild RPG elements. Naturally, this left me with a bad taste in my mouth for RPGs that lasted until a buddy of mine leant me a game that completely changed my view on RPGs forever. It was way outside of the realm of "typical" RPGs and played more like an action/adventure game (which I would later find out was similar in nature to Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, one of the greatest Super NES games of all time.) It was called Soul Blazer and would prove to be one of my favorite games for the SNES. I recently bought my own copy from Lukie Games to see if it still holds up to the nostalgia I've held onto since 1992. So the question is: does it live up to my memories?

Typically one of the most important elements in an RPG is the story. However, for the uninitiated - Rpgs can be an incredibly long time-sink that require paying attention to minute details and dialogue trees. "Where did the king tell me to travel to again?" "How am I supposed to free the mighty blade from the ground?" In Action/RPG games such as Soul Blazer, the story is still important in the overall enjoyment of the game; however, it is not nearly as lengthy or crucial as in games such as the Final Fantasy, Dragon Warrior, or Ultima series. In this game, you control a hero sent from "the master" to resurrect a series of towns held captive by the evil Deathtoll. Along the way you meet a cast of characters who give you items to progress through the story and to bring these dead cities back to life. It is a classic tale of good versus evil and is similar in tone to other Enix games with spiritual/religious undertones such as EVO, Illusion of Gaia, and the Actraiser series. The story and dialogue are decent enough, but might not satisfy the hardcore RPG crowd. For everyone else, this is a good primer for the RPG genre and the story moves along quick enough to not hinder the action.

"Paging Craig. Clean up on Aisle 5!"

Speaking of the action - it is quick, exciting, and effective. You have a sword attack and magic (both of which you will find upgrades for as you progress through the game.) Different swords, armor, and magic will be useful in different situations. IE: in the underwater city, it is crucial to have your bubble armor equipped - lest you take damage and drown. Some swords and magic are tailored against certain enemies, such as rock monsters or flying enemies. For the most part, you can progress through the game with your most powerful equipment on at all times - but in order to unlock all secret items and get through to the final stage - it is important to know what tools to use where. Battles are uncomplicated and flow in a swift pace (ala Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past.) Instead of typical turn-based battles - you are free to hack, slash and even run past enemies if you wish. There are boss battles at the end of each level and thankfully three warp zones per level to return to the safe room - where you can save, load, and travel at your will.

BAH! What the heck is THAT thing?!

One of the main highlights of Soul blazer may also be my biggest criticism: at times, the game is perhaps a little too accessible. The challenge level is perfect for people who do not have much RPG experience under their belts, and for an 8 year old Chris - it was a perfect primer for the genre. However, I have now taken down several RPGs since, and what once was a cute, engaging action game has become a breeze to play. Most bosses have easy to master attack patterns and with the right technique can be killed without taking much damage. Most enemies can be struck down with one or two sword blows if you're properly equipped. Finally, aside from having to hop back and forth between levels in order to track down all of the hidden booty that you missed while you were a weakling - the game is linear enough that you're never going to get lost. When I stopped playing Chrono Trigger for a year and came back to the game - I had literally no idea what my last move was, so there was a lot of backtracking in order to figure out what to do next. In this game - I could leave it 90% finished, come back in three years, and know exactly what is left to finish the game. That is a terrific feature for beginners, but as a somewhat seasoned gamer it makes the game easy enough to beat over a long weekend.

That little green donut unlocks a bird...or a mermaid...or a...

So the question needs to be answered - is Soul Blazer as awesome as I remember it? Absolutely. It's fun, addictive, quick, and action-packed. It's also ridiculously easy now that I've clobbered more complex RPGs and admittedly - the story is a little thin. However, it is still well worth your time and investment for a relatively underrated Action/RPG classic. It's a bit on the collectible side these days so it may run you a bit more than your average SNES cart - but it's worth it. Pick up a copy for yourself!

Mike’s Gameboy Game of the Week: Guardian Heroes Advance

I have some fond memories of the original Guardian Heroes as I played it way back in late 90’s over a friends house, recently with the rerelease of Guardian Heroes for the Xbox 360 I have been able to relive those great memories of a fantastic Beatem’ up’ RPG with many endings and so many paths that it would take many play-throughs to truly enjoy the game. For comparisons sake the closest game to Guardian Heroes is Golden Axe, but the similarities are entirely superficial as unlike Golden Axe Guardian Heroes has a riveting story that changes based on your actions (I’d say both are great in the fighting aspect though.) Seeing is believing I supposed so here’s some gameplay footage of the first stage:

Unlike Golden Axe or any other beatem’ up you may have noticed that the characters don’t move around a three dimensional plane with enemies coming at them from all directions, instead the characters jump through three zones (one in the foreground, one in the middle, and one in the back) this feature while at first seeming ridiculous makes perfect sense from a design standpoint as in Guardian Heroes there are stages where lots of enemies will come at you all at once and being able to quickly jump to another zone out of their range giving a moment to collect yourself before the enemies all hop over. This feature is even more helpful due to the sheer difficulty of the game as mastering hopping from one zone to the other can mean life or death at points.

 

Look at those generic soldiers, think their tough shit jumpin’ out of the way of my lightning.

It would be impossible for me to fully explain to you the sheer depth of the story of this game with it’s many plot twists, undead, demons, gods, murder, and vampire clowns, however I can tell you this, you can play as any character you defeat in versus mode (in the Xbox 360 version you can play online as well).

Oh yes, even bosses.

Now that you have some grasp of the basic premise of Guardian Heroes lets talk about its sequel Guardian Heroes Advance.

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Guardian Heroes Advance takes things a little differently, it does away with the whole zone nonsense and allows you to move about a three dimensional plane, it also added a homing jump (a jump that automatically takes you to whatever the nearest platform is) and platforming elements to mix things up. It also did away the path choosing element of the previous game where you instead move along a linear path towards the ending of the game, luckily though there are two endings so it guarantee’s you at least two playthroughs. Not one of the things that makes up for it is how much depth they added to the combat system with the addition of a counter that can nullify damage and larger move pools for all characters.

Honestly what more could you want?

Of all the characters though the main three Enn, Ray, and who cares because they are all identical and their stats are the only major differences between them, have the largest move pools with different possible attack combos based on directional movements and how long you hold down the attack button. I personally like the addition of a ground pound attack that does area damage. Magic which in the previous game could only be executed by certain button combos (like a haduken) was a tad hard to pull off when a bunch of enemies were punching you in the face Advance fixes this problem by making it so that magic is charges and selected using the shoulder buttons making it a lot easier to pop-off magic spells when you need them.

The change was pretty shocking.

Now Guardian Heroes Advance follows the adventure of the Undead hero from the first game as he is revived by taking over the body of whichever generic main character you chose to start with. You are immediately tasked with saving the world from the Sky Kingdom as they hope to take over the world and create the “Ultimate Warrior”.

I honestly don’t know why though…

So you battle through stages fighting many enemies and eventually you wind up fighting the cast from the previous series who are apparently being controlled by the Sky Kingdom. You beat them and depending on certain conditions you get one of two endings after fighting the final boss. Now the real fun of this game comes after you have beaten it. Remember how earlier I said that in Guardian Heroes you could play as any character in versus mode? Well in Guardian Heroes Advance you can play as ANY character in both versus mode and story mode. So long after you’ve seen the ending of the games you can go back and decide to play as the best mage in the game and just spam uber-spells murdering all of the things.

The didn’t know what hit them.

I haven’t really touched on what versus mode is yet have I? Well in both games it is a feature in which up to twelve characters (be they human or CPU) can all duke it out. This means that you can either have twelve of the baddest bosses pounding on each other of just one tackling a whole bunch of the weakest enemies and utterly destroying them (or losing somehow [it happens oddly enough]). In versus mode you get to assign stats to each character based on the level cap you have chosen and they can either be preset stat distributions or you can set them however you want, this can amount to hours of amusement.

Dance my puppets, DANCE!

I found that Guardian Heroes Advance doesn’t easily appeal to many people due to the fact that a majority of the mythos of the game is lost upon a person who hasn’t played the first game. Guardian Heroes Advance is a must have for anyone who liked the first game and for anyone who is a diehard fan of Beatem’ Ups. The game has memorable characters and a decent soundtrack, the graphics are alright for a Gameboy Advance game, the controls are amazing, and you can play as any character in the game after you’ve killed them. Seriously, what isn’t there to love? To add even more incentive the game is fairly inexpensive. So why not pick a copy now? You can also grab a copy of the original game off the Xbox Live Arcade for 800 MS points if you don’t have a Sega Saturn.

Let’s Play a Game! Earthbound Zero Part 0: Prologue

Prior to my delivering a flying elbow to this game (I like to think this is an appropriate metaphor for making a let’s play) lets take a look at the history of the game in which I will be playing, Earthbound Zero. Earthbound Zero or as it was originally going to be called “Earthbound” is the first of a series of games by Shigesato Itoi called Mother. Outside of Japan Mr.Itoi is really only known for his work on the Super Nintendo game Earthbound however in Japan he is known not only for the Mother series but for his numerous essays and for his personal website (it’s in Japanese by the way) in which he posts news and essays on his views of current events. Believe it or not the title Earthbound Zero did not always include “Zero” in its name, this was later added by the a fan-translation group called Demiforce. Demiforce originally was planning on translating the entire game themselves before they got a hold of the official English rom and changed the title to say “Earthbound Zero. (An interview with them can be read here).
Now you may be wondering, “Hey how could there be an official English translation of the game if it was never released stateside?” Well you wonderfully beautiful person, it was going to be released and even had some advertising behind it (Here's an ad from Nintendo Power). Earthbound Zero was slated for release and had been fully translated by Nintendo of America around mid-1990 and was slated to come out in 1991. Tragedy struck in the form of the Super Nintendo, Nintendo of America decided it would not be cost effective to release the game while a new system was slated for release and put the game on an indefinite hold. Around 1998 evidence of prototype cartridges of the cancelled Earthbound game came to light with the first one being what I’m going to be playing. To this day only four known copies exist though there is some speculation that there may be a fifth floating around somewhere. So there, now you have some history on this game and we can now Segway into the actual lets play.

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I’m liking it thus far. Lets push start and get this thing started! :o

Picking slot one!

A lesser person would name him something like “Butt’s” or something but being that I am a constant professional in all things I will keep all of the characters official names and what not.

Ninten? I’m presuming his last name must be Doh. :D

Yes I realize it only has one “N” in it, and yes I know Anna isn’t supposed to be spelled that way. This is motherflipin’ Earthbound things don’t have to make sense!

I wonder if he will wind up having any space adventures. :/

I am absolutely honored to be fighting alongside our 26th president. I’m pretty certain that he should be the main character though, maybe I should write a letter to Mr.Itoi asking him if they made a mistake, as a complete BAMF like Teddy Roosevelt shouldn’t be playing second-fiddle.

The food of only the most masculine of men.

Yes, yes it is okay. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t have gone through all this trouble.

They should have called up Special Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully to look into this, I’m pretty sure they would have figured out what went down in a timely fashion. :o

Sounds like he’d been in Las Vegas all this time. After all what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, or something like that. Maria probably hooked up with some rich go-getter and left George in the dust.

I like where this is going…
 
Ok cool, just dropping me into the game. I’m fine without any formal introduction to my location, I’ll just do what Mulder and Scully would want me to do, INVESTIGATE! …and blame the government.

Alright so the only two notable pieces of furniture in my room are both cool, nothing unusual about them. Guess I’ll have to take my investigations elsewhere.

Um, hey lamp, you know you are supposed to be an inanimate object right? I also investigated you and my conclusion was that there was “No Problem” therefore you should not be spazzing out and moving around my room.

Dafuq!

Um. Excuse me, but could you stop coming closer to me Lamp? I would greatly appreciate it if you stopped menacing me with your oddly toothy grin from a mouth you just suddenly acquired.

Looks like I have to fight my lamp, I thought this only happened on St.Patrick's day or Mardi Gras. Whatever… time for a breakdown of how battle works!

• Fight: Is a Standard Attack with whatever weapon is equipped or lack there of
• PSI: opens up a sub-menu wherein you can choose any Psychic powers you’ve acquired/learned
• Goods: opens up a sub-menu where you can use any items you have on you
• Check: Examines the enemy and give you it’s stats and condition
• Auto: Lets the computer do all the work
• Guard: Defends for that turn
• Run: You Attempt to run away from the fight

So lets murder ourselves a lamp!

Damn right I did!

I can tell this will take a while. :/


That household appliance won’t be drawing near anyone else anytime soon!

That was oddly amusing. Onwards and upwards I guess.

Now I’m in a hallway. I’ll door number one for $200.

Dear lord not again…


“Oh my! Brother, our house is falling apart! Boohoo!”
Yeah, I kinda figured that out already. Do you have anything productive to tell me?
“Nope.”
Of course. Well I guess I should check the next room.

Curse my need to explore.

“Help me!”
Okay. What am I helping you with?
“KILL THE EVIL DOLL THAT’S FLOATING AROUND MY ROOM!”
Whoa, calm down there buddy, I’m sure you’re just overreacting. I totes encountered a couple of lamps that were clearly possessed by some sort of evil demon. If anything my investigation has proved that lamps are the most evil household objects.

Oh, that’s not creepy at all. Wait…



This is quite possibly the most evil thing I’ve seen in my life. It must be destroyed.

Two hits? I’ve fought lamps stronger than this!

You know what it was? Aliens. I’m sure the government will be by sooner or later to try covering this up.

I’m skeptic of examining the very thing that tried brutally murdering me earlier, but I’m certain nothing will be out of the ordinary.

Oh, alright. This is interesting, but I must wonder why a music box would be inside a doll. I also would like to bring into question why is it that it wasn’t until this moment that we realized it was inside the doll. Surely someone would have noticed the bulging noise making device long before it was brought to life and tried to go on a murderous rampage :/

Whooooooaaaaaaaaaa!
 
I feel that this must be a plot point.

Of course! Smashing inanimate objects always makes me parched! Well I have a feeling that for now I do not have to go and smash anymore of the things in what I assume must be my house (if what that girl said can be trusted), so I’ll head downstairs now.

No expense is to great when it comes to room furnishing.

“Ninten. Are you alright?” 
Yeah, no thanks to you. I didn’t see you up there battling it out with evil lamps and malefic dolls.
“Egad! What is happening to our house?”
Was the house built on an Indian burial ground? If so then you have your answer right there.
“I wish your dad were here now. Maybe…”
Well he’s not so we have to make the bes-
“TELEPHONE! Ninten, please get it!”
Fine, but if it attacks me I’m out of here.

“It’s your dad.”
That’s a pretty odd way to introduce yourself.
“Well… It seems like a poltergeist.”
What seems like a poltergeist?
“I’m not exactly sure how to… But, your great-grand-father studied PSI.”
What? You aren’t making any sense!
“You might find something in the basement to help.”
Ooookay.
“But, I left the basement Key Someplace… can’t remember exactly where…”
Dammit all! What kind of person hides the key to a room in their own house and forgets where it is!?
“Anyhow, son, you are my only hope. It’s time for you to go on a little adventure, and explore the potential of your powers.”
Wut?
“Powers not to be taken lightly. Whomp, go for it!! But remember to come back and check on our family.”
Wait, what is “Whomp”? What powers? Why do I have to go on an adventure? Explain old man, EXPLAIN!!!
“Bye. Phone me when you want to save. Call me whenever.” *slam*
Buh… Guess I better find that key… Time to recheck everything in the house!


If it’s not inside so it must be outside. I bet it’s hidden in the doghouse, that’s a rational place to hide it.

Oooookay. So then where could it be? Maybe, just maybe…

No… no way.

“Tell you a secret. Why don’t you CHECK me out?”
I’ll pass. I’m not into that kind of stuff. I do however have a question for you, how is it that I can converse with animals?
“Bow wow.”
Mother-fffffffffffffffffffine. Whatever.

I… I don’t know what to make of this. However I do know that now I can get into the basement.  TO THE BASMENT!

I bet there is going to be a bitchin’ Foosball table or some sort of old Billiards table.

Well, this isn’t exactly what I was expecting. At least there are presents?

Bread, a plastic bat, and a diary, who leaves bread as a present?  I guess I should focus on checking out this diary though…

“The Diary was hard to read, but opened up to this page…
(Password)
….The one who lost the tail. The Forgotten one… the ship that sails… “
Cool. I guess this will be important later. Welp, lets blow this pop stand!

“Son of mine, you are braver than I thought.”
Was it the fighting off of murderous household items that tipped you off?
“I can’t let you go on a journey so famished. I’ll cook Prime Rib.”
B-but I want to start my adventure now!

Pffft other mothers would jump at the opportunity to let their sons throw themselves into danger.

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Will Ninten do as his father says and go on an adventure to discover and harness his “powers”, and just what is this “PSI” Nintens great-grandfather was researching? Check back at some future point in time for answers to these questions*. *Answers to questions are subject to the plot and may or may not be answered or be completely forgotten in lieu of a pointless romantic subplot or several hours of level grinding in order to defeat random enemies who happen to be ten levels higher then the players party.